[Intro:]
"This is the story of a man on the edge
Who all but lost his way
Until one day he discovered in his palms, a rocket launcher!
Enjoy this tale of personal rejuvination, redemption and scrubification
As told by the great Shaggy 2 Dope!"

[Verse 1:]
Grandpappy was a World War II Vet
And I found his bazooka set
In the basement with a bag of mortars
Yeah bitch, I'm done taking orders!
Dragged it outside, tried it out
Dropped a shell in and fired it out
Across the street into the neighbor's kitchen
And now half of their house is missin'
Fuck yeah! I grab the rockets
Beer truck in the scope, I locked it
Blew the wheels off and flipped it twice
I'm realizing with that 'zook I'm nice

[Hook:]
And I'm dancing! (He's dancing!)
With a god damn bazooka! (Bazooka Joey!)
Bazooka! (Bazooka Joey!)
[2x]
[Verse 2:]
I sent a hot one right through the doors
And left 'em mangled in a pile of boards
I swear my shoulder is loving the shock
Fucked up an H & R block
I'm blowing new cop cars into stock yards
Bitch this is a bazooka, you not hard!
See the S.W.A.T. team hiding in a limousine
It seems they're smithereens!
Pull out my hair, screaming and laughin'
Getting shot at and shooting back and
Terrorizing, Paralyzing
Bazooka baby, electrifying

[Hook:]
And I'm dancing! (He's dancing!)
With a god damn bazooka! (Bazooka Joey!)
Bazooka! (Bazooka Joey!)
[2x]

[Verse 3:]
Raid vans? You gotta be kiddin'
I'll take out a tank, I ain't bullshittin'!
Call me the crater creator
Drop you like a elevator, big hater
I'll blow a firetruck smooth in half
(Drop your weapon!) All I could do was laugh! (Ha ha ha!)
Who the fuck is you all demandin'?
I'll leave a fucking ditch where you standin'!
Fox News, turn it up loud
I'mma blow the crowd into a mushroom cloud
So tune in before I get shot
Bazooka Joey blowing up the spot
[Hook:]
And I'm dancing! (He's dancing!)
With a god damn bazooka! (Bazooka Joey!)
Bazooka! (Bazooka Joey!)
[2x]

[Interlude:]
"Alright, we need to secure the perimeter immediately!
Woah, wait a minute!
What is that?
(Woah, woah, woah!)
Get out of there!
For Christ's sakes, he's got a goddamn bazooka!
Back the fuck up!"

[Hook:]
And I'm dancing! (He's dancing!)
With a god damn bazooka! (Bazooka Joey!)
Bazooka! (Bazooka Joey!)
[2x]