Violent J
Assassins
[Bridge:]
Ya know who ya fuckin wit?
W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-Wicked clowns!

[Hook:]
Wicked clown, wicked clown!
Wicked clown, wicked clown!
(Don't fuck wit me!)

[Verse 1: Shaggy 2 Dope]
As I walk through River Rouge, I saw this man
He was covered, he was buttered, snatched his jewelry and ran
I caught up wit Nate and said, "I think it's worth a grand!"
He smiled, and he giggled and he shook my hand
The jam was goin down, I need the money so I'm giddy
That fuckin snake mogul only gave us $750 (What?)
My mamma threw me out, I called my sister a whore (Bitch!)
Now my house is abandoned, my bed is the floor
It's been a week, I haven't eaten, I starve and I crawl
Saw my teacher Ms. Elena up in Wellington Mall
I broke into her Datsun and jumped in the back
And waited for the bitch and put my shank to her neck!
She offered her car keys, cried and said "Please!"
She promised not to tell and gimmie A's and B's
I said, "I want your money bitch and all I can sell!" (Now!)
I looked into her eyes and she was scared as hell
I knew she was a snitch so I cut off her tongue (Yes!)
Got happy wit the trigger, now I'm on the run
AN ASSASSIN!!!
[Hook]
Wicked clown, wicked clown!
Wicked clown, wicked clown!
(Don't fuck wit me!)

[Bridge]
Ya know who ya fuckin wit?
W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-Wicked clowns!

[Verse 2: Violent J]
My father was a priest, cold blooded, he's dead
Hypocrite, he was a bigot, so I cut off his head
Poured on the holy water, "Bless the dead" is what I said
And heard the demons screamin as his body bled
Now I'm drunk on the freeway, just the other day
I saw a fine hitch hiker and I wanted to play
Pulled up to the curb so I can offer a ride
She said, "Thanks!" I said, "No thang!" and she got inside
Peepin as I'm creepin, I'm packin an erection
I'm steerin wit my dick, I'm like look, which direction! (Ha ha!)
Made it to her Ave., she got out and said, "See ya!"
Yo babe like why'nt ya chill and help me kill this two liter? (Baby)
Went into my trailer, I filled up a glass
Before she took a sip I had my dick in her ass
I banged it and banged it, the shit was absurd
Like she was Sporty Spice and I was some fuckin nerd!
Then she rolled over, and gave me a kiss
And said, "So when am I gettin paid?" WHAT BITCH?!
First I tried to choke her, she went for the door
And said, "Welcome to the disease there's no cure for!"
Bitch, I love you, but now you gotta die
I chased her through the door but she slammed it in my eye
She passed by my boy and I knew he was strapped
Billy pulled out his gun and shot the bitch in her back!
Still wanting booty, I went for the hatchet
And screamed at the moon like a sick psychopathic!
Chopping and chopping, they said "J, what the fuck?"
On the news they found her head stuffed up her butt, what!
I'm an assassin!
Ha huh ha!
A muthafuckin assassin!
Huuu!
An assassin!
[Hook]
Wicked clown, wicked clown!
Wicked clown, wicked clown!
(Don't fuck wit me!)

[Skit: The Jerky Boys]
Frontier
Hello?
Hello?
Yes, hello?
Yes?
Hi, I'd like to speak to Mike Wood
Who's calling?
This is Sol...
I'm sorry, who?
Sol...
Did you say Shawn?
Sarah!
Hello?
Yes
Yes, this is Sarah
Oh Sarah?
Mike Wood please!
Okay, hold on one moment...
Hello?
Yes I have a complaint, a formal complaint!
Go ahead...
They're just evil!
Who's evil?
The last booking you had they jumped from the stage and they tried to finger me in the audience!
Who is this?
This is Sarah!
You're referring to who?
To myself and my rear! What do you mean am I fer- referring to?
What band?
The Insane Clown Posse!
Wh- I don't understand what you're talkin about!
Oh God! Do you book them or no?
Yes, I am the booking agent for the Insane Clown Posse!
If that's who you are than I just so happen
To be a poor fool that was standing in the front row
When one of them jumped on me...
Knocked me down and obliviously stuck his fingers in my ass!
I don't need this!
Why do you let this go on?
Why are you callin me about this?
Well you're booking them! (Hello?)
Get off the phone you stupid ass!
Who's helloing me?
Mike Wood please?
This is Mike Wood
Please stop booking them Mike, please?
They're driving me nuts!