[Intro: Violent J]
"Influenced-... entire-... living-..."
"Imagine music, completely original, uninfluenced, unique and uncensored, entirely brand new and exclusive. Its origin? On Earth, it's probably transmitting from somewhere tucked away, invisible to the living, hidden off in the coldest, darkest corners of existence, somewhere in the beyond. It's created and projected from this beyond, directly to a certain chosen few and then picked up and decoded only by that few that are meant to receive it. The source? Some kind of unexplainable, ancient yet newly-submerged circus of tortured, angry souls. We offer this Dark Carnival's message to you, pure and untapped. If you feel this is for you, its messages are transcripted and delivered by: the most hated band in the world, us, the Insane Clown Posse. I guess we're offering you a trip into the Bizzar Bizaar

[Sampled ("My Axe")]
"I love my Faygo, my hatchetman but I love my axe"
My axe is my buddy, I bring him when I walk
Me and my axe will leave your head outlined in chalk
My axe is my buddy, he always makes me laugh
Me and my axe cut bigots' spinal cords in half
My axe is my buddy, and when I wind him back
Me and my axe will give your forehead a buttcrack
My axe is my buddy, I never leave without him
Me and my axe will leave your neck a bloody fountain
Everybody, everybody, everybody run
Murdering, murdering, murdering fun, (Everybody dies)
Swing swing swing, chop chop chop, (Everybody dies)
Swing swing swing, chop chop chop
Everybody, everybody, everybody run
Murdering, murdering, murdering fun, (Everybody dies)
Swing swing swing, chop chop chop, (Everybody dies)
Swing swing swing, chop chop chop
My axe is my buddy, we right-

[Interlude: Shaggy 2 Dope]
"What?!"
[Sampled ("Tilt-A-Whirl")]
Oh my goody, look, a chicken
Keep your money, here's a ticket
Hold up, keep your kids out here
They too young to play in there
Step right up, now strap 'em in
Lock it tight under his chin
Clamp his arms up to his side
It's gon' be a helly ride
Now if you misplace an item
Psychopathic's sure to find 'em
If you lose your nugget yo
Hatchet ain't responsible
Look and wonder if you will
'Cause we about to whip and kill
Think about your every sin
As our tilt-a-whirly spins
Hang (Hang on)
On (Hang on and die)
Die (Die)
Die (Die)
Hang (Hang on)
On (Hang on and die)
Die (Die)
Die (Die-ie)
Looky-look, a fancy fuck
With his wallet up his butt
Give the wealthy what they want
Fuck the line, put him up-
[Sampled ("Still Stabbin'")]
"See, I, uh"
I stab people, like everyday folks
Skinny people, any people, I chop off their throats
My stabbing's are ninja-like [?] quickly, hey
By the time you feel it I'm like three blocks away
I stabbed the newspaper guy and took his little truck
Now I stab people and drive away I'm like puttputtputtputt
I do a show and stab people at the same time, what of that
I stab bear cages security guards in the back of the neck
I love Waffle House, I stab people there
They're so shitty and dumpy, they don't even care
I love stabbin' people, Def Leppard, remember them?
Well I cut their fuckin' drummer's arm off, you can ask him
Lyor Cohen, the president of Island
I'm at a business meeting with him, looking at him, I'm smiling
I jumped up to stab him, but he kicked my ass
Seventeenth floor, they through me out through the glass
(Stab, stab, stab, stab) Can you help me? (Fuck you)
(Stab, stab, let's get bloody) Fuckin' help me (Fuck you)
(Stab, stab, stab, stab) I need you to help me (Fuck you)
(Stab, stab, let's get bloody) Somebody come and help me (Fuck you)
Jehovah's Witnesses, I swear, man I love 'em

[Sampled ("Let a Killa")]
I see you hoes on TV
Glamorous models, super celebrities
Rolls Royce, fine wines and class
You need to come down to the hood, let me spank that ass
I want a famous ho (Yeah)
A bitch on top with some helly bank role
I been chasing a girl from Letters to Cleo
But she broker 'n me, though
Mariah Carey, man, forget it
If O.D.B. hit it, I can't fuck wit' it (Nah)
Nothing against Ol' Dirty or nothin'
But I know he at least got herpes or somethin'
I wouldn't mind fucking Britney Spears (Yeah)
In a cheap hotel with them ceiling mirrors (Uh uh)
With that bitch in a couple of weeks
I'd have her hooked on crack rock, working the streets (Slut)
All them hoes fantasize
About juggalo scrubs in between they thighs (Heh heh heh)
But they too scared to let it be
So instead they fuck Ricky Martin and pretend it's me
Don't you, ho?
Let a killer fuck you, let a killer fuck you
Let a killer fuck you right (Let a killer fuck you right)
Let a killer fuck you, let a killer fuck you (One time)
Never gone back in the night (Never gone back in the-)
[Sampled ("Fearless")]
I'll go to Alaska, bitch slap a polar bear and take its food
I'll mow the fuckin lawn of a land mine field like what boom
I'll roll an M-80 up in some papers and smoke that shit up
I'll share a dirty heroin needle with that dirty bitch Courtney Love
I'll run around the White House lawn naked and screamin' and bustin' shots at him
I'll scratch my back with a chainsaw, yeah, got it
I'll walk through Compton alone and sport wranglers and a cowboy hat
I'll head-butt a fuckin' unicorn, come here, bitch (No! *Thunk* Damn!)
I'll stand on a stump and let you trim my toenails with a axe
I'll sucker punch a gorilla and then try to run with a banana hangin' out my ass
I'll fuckin' become pen-pals with the Unabomber and let him send me packages
I'll drive a ice cream truck through Ethiopia talkin' about free ice cream sandwiches
What's the matter? What's the matter?
What's the matter? Are you scared? (Why you scared?)
What's the matter? What's the matter?
Tell me, are you fearless? (Don't be scared)
What's the matter? What's the-

[Outro]
"Bizzar Bizaar, Bizzar Bizaar, Bizzar, the new album by the Insane Clown Posse, the most hated band in the world, available October thi- -lable October thirty fi- -lable October thir- -October thirty-first, 2000, Halloween day- -oween day- -oween day."