Instrumental: The Center Of Attraction by Ghostface Killah & Apollo Brown

[First Verse]
At my desk reflecting on family death and I don’t know why
As a whole their slow decline just gets me stressed and vexed
It holds my mind in chains and check so I notice time
Just pass me by then park its ride at the farthest side of the car park
Life just gets me on the darkest night can’t sleep feel uneasy
Laying in bed feeling half-alive relay each step of the way I went
When my granddad, sister, and auntie died (auntie died…)
Just so I feel to kick to my gut/ that lump in my throat
And I don’t know how much hope I can muster
I just felt so flat/ go back to the days we had
Those ghosts just go on repeat rotation
Souls move on/ recollections stay
So so sad and it seems so basic
They go/ we mourn/ then we move on ‘til the Lord calls
What’s after life? Losing people you love so much
Pulls out these thoughts like “this can’t be right” (it can’t be right man…)
And it sparks that fire where you question so much
And you get nowhere so I just can’t place all my faith in an afterlife
(Nah, I tried…)
So I recharge then charge at the mic
Attempting to make some sense out of all this
Fall back/ drown all the talking
Yeah it’s all part of the fight
[Hook] x2
Right here right now wanna see you face to face
And tell you why I feel like how I feel and ask you why you had to/ uh!
Can’t even say that word sometimes still doubt it’s true
Then I fall back to Earth and I sit back and I reminisce about you

[Second Verse]
It hits me deep when I realise that I can’t see my granddad
Just struck me now how much of a big impact that man had
I find it weird how I don’t really know that much about Shano
But that name’s ingrained in my past that it still hits hard when I hear it
So much so that it feels like I miss someone
That I don’t really know so well but blood’s too thick to ignore that hole
That appeared so clear when she left us cold/ no warning
One morning woke up with her mum screaming down on the phone
To my dad tryna tell him what’s happened
I’m calling God like “bruv, please, can’t have more of this”
‘Cause more or less what, like two years prior
I was trying to account for my massi leaving
But I don’t regret not seeing her much
‘Cause once I was only gonna stay with her one night
One night turned into one weekend
Which turned into one whole week and I’m pleased that it did
‘Cause the grief otherwise would’ve felt as deep as Shano’s did
(Shano’s did…)
My granddad too (my granddad too…)
Saw him in the hospital bed in a state that I’d never wanna see him in
Like seeing my mum start crying when the hearse pulled up
See the flowers read ‘Dad’ then the hurt crawls up to your heart
Like when I saw both my uncles push that button for the curtain call
It’s done
[Hook] x2
Right here right now wanna see you face to face
And tell you why I feel like how I feel and ask you why you had to/ uh!
Can’t even say that word sometimes still doubt it’s true
Then I fall back to Earth and I sit back and I reminisce about you