When I was a little boy
The kids could be so
(MEAN MEAN MEAN)
Laughing at what was in my lunch pail
(BEANS BEANS BEANS)

They’d yell about the musical fruit
They’d say the more that I ate, the more I’d
(TOOT TOOT TOOT)
But I swear that they’ve never made me do that
(THERE’S NO SHAME)

I’d zip my beans up and roll like the wind
Just wishing that I belonged
And If I could take me back in time
I’d sing that bearded boy this song

Tears of beans
Are dribbling down my cheek at night
Dreams of beans
I’m on a cannellini cloud floatin’ through the moonlit night

But in the morning I’m still trying
To hide the fact I’m crying these tears
Tears of beans
This key change means it’s time to show
A flash-forward to my
(TEENS TEENS TEENS)
I had an appetite for success but now I had to deal with
(MEMES MEMES MEMES)

Yeah, music’s cool but have you considered all the healthy benefits of
(BEAN PROTEINS)
It’s not a fruit and the reason you toot is something called oligosaccharides!
(JOSH, IT’S REALLY OK)

I must have lost my mind, it’s easy to assume
(DON’T WANNA ASSUME)
Otherwise, why would I sing this song about a guilty pleasure legume
Besides being paid…
How ‘bout another key change!

Beans!
I wish I could eat this instrument
Here’s to beans!
I’m gonna bake a bean ballad the world won’t soon forget
More precious than a diamond and more cherished than gold
Next time propose with a bean ‘cause fortune favors the bold

For a schmancy affair or dad’s barbecue grillin’
Or outta the can like a cowboy villain
Here’s to beans
Beautiful beans!