So you have this processâwhich is quite spontaneousâgoing on. We call it life. Itâs controlling itself! Itâs aware of itself. Itâs aware of itself through you. You are an aperture through which the universe looks at itself. And because itâs the universe looking at itself through you, thereâs always an aspect of itself that it canât see. So itâs just like that snake, you see, that is pursuing its tail. Because the snake canât see its head, like you canât. We always findâas we investigate the universe, make the microscope bigger and biggerâand we will find ever more minute things. Make the telescope bigger, and bigger, and bigger, and the universe expands because itâs running away from itself. It wonât do that if you donât chase it.
So itâs a game of hide-and-seek. Really, when you ask the question, Who is doing the chasing? you are still working under the assumption that every verb has to have a subject. That when there is an action there has to be a doer. Thatâs what I would call a grammatical convention, leading to what Whitehead called The Fallacy of Misplaced Concreteness. Like the famous it in It is raining. So when you say, There cannot be knowing without a knower, this is merely saying no more than, There canât be a verb without a subject, and thatâs a grammatical rule, and not a law of nature.
Anything you can think of as a thing, as a noun, can be described by a verb. And there are languages which do that. It sounds awkward in English, but face it: when you look for doers as distinct from deeds, you canât find them. Just as when you look for stuff underlying the patterns of nature: you canât find any stuff. You just find more and more patterns. There never was any stuff; itâs a ghost. What we call stuff is simply pattern seen out of focus. Itâs fuzzy, so we call it stuff. Like kapok!
So we have these wordsâenergy, matter, being, reality, even Taoâand we can never find them. They always elude us entirely. Although we do have the very strong intuition that all this that we see is connected or related. So we speak of a universe, although that word really means one turn. Itâs your turn now. Or, like, you make one turn to look at yourself, but you canât make two turns and see whatâs looking. So itâs very simple, therefore. You only have to understand that you canât do anything about it. And as they say in Zen:
And in not being able to get it, you get it.
So all these trials that gurus put their students through have, as their ultimate object, convincing you that you canât do anything. Only, itâs convincing you very thoroughly. Itâs convincing you in more than a theoretical way. Now, perhaps I shouldnât tell you thatâbut you see, Iâm not a guru in that I donât give individual spiritual direction to people. And I give away the guruâs tricks. That may not be very good, but on the other hand, those tricks are only necessary in the sense that I would say to someone, Itâs necessary for you to go see a psychiatrist if you think you must. And if youâre not going to be satisfied without going to Japan and studying Zen Buddhism from a RĆshiâokay, you better go. It isnât necessary unless you say it is. If thatâs the only thing thatâll satisfy you, and you feel that deep down inside you. If you got that yearn, then youâve got that yearn. But if, on the other hand, you havenât, you havenât. And Iâm not going to put you down on that account, you see?
The point is, what do you want to do? What is it in you to do? But there it is: that you can struggle, and struggle, and struggle, and indeed will do so as long as you have the feeling inside you that you are missing something. And peopleâyour friends, all sorts of peopleâwill do their utmost to persuade you that youâre missing something. Because they are missing something, and they think they are getting it through a certain wayâand therefore, to assure themselves, theyâd like you to do it, too. So there is this thing. And, you see, a clever guru beguiles his students by letting them have the feeling of success and accomplishment in certain directions.
A guru gives people exercises; A: that are difficult but can be accomplished, and B: that are impossible. Youâll always be hung-up on the impossible ones, but the possible ones, you will get the feeling of making progress, so that you will double your efforts to solve the impossible exercises. And then they range things in many, many ranks and levels through which you can advance. This state of consciousness, that stage of consciousness, or think of the degrees of masonry, or so on. Ranks, and learning things, the different belts in jĆ«dĆ, and all that kind of jazz. You can do that, and it gives people this sense of competing with themselves, or even with others. Because of the feeling, inside, that there is just something Iâm missing.
And, of course, if you are learning any sort of skill and you havenât perfected the skill, there is indeed something you are missing. But in this thing that we are talking about that isnât true. Because you, as the Buddhists say, are Buddhas from the very beginning. And all that searching is like looking for your own head, which you canât see and therefore might conceivably imagine that you are lost. So that, indeed, is the point: that we donât see what looks, and therefore we think weâve lost it. And so we are in search of the Self, the Ätman. Well, thatâs the one thing we canât find because we have it; we are it! But we confuse it with all these images.