Nice girls not one with a defect
Cellophane shrink-wrapped, so correct
Red dogs under illegal legs
She looks so good that he gets down and begs

She is watching the detectives
"Ooh, he's so cute!"
She is watching the detectives
When they shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot
They beat him up until the teardrops start
But he can't be wounded 'cause he's got no heart

Long shot of that jumping sign
Visible shivers running down my spine
Cut the baby taking off her clothes
Close-up of the sign that says,"We never close"
You snatch a tune, you match a cigarette
She pulls the eyes out with a face like a magnet
I don't know how much more of this I can take
She's filing her nails while they're dragging the lake

She is watching the detectives
"Ooh, he's so cute!"
She is watching the detectives
When they shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot
They beat him up until the teardrops start
But he can't be wounded 'cause he's got no heart
You think you're alone until you realize you're in it
Now fear is here to stay. Love is here for a visit
They call it instant justice when it's past the legal limit
Someone's scratching at the window. I wonder who is it?

The detectives come to check if you belong to the parents
Who are ready to hear the worst about their daughter's disappearance
Though it nearly took a miracle to get you to stay
It only took my little fingers to blow you away

Just like watching the detectives
Don't get cute!"
It's just like watching the detectives
I get so angry when the teardrops start
But he can't be wounded 'cause he's got no heart
Watching the detectives
It's just like watching the detectives


My funny Valentine, sweet comic Valentine
You make me smile with my heart
Your looks are laughable, unphotographable
But you're my favourite work of art

Is your figure less than Greek?
Is your mouth a little weak?
When you open it to speak
Are you smart?
Don't change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little Valentine, stay
Each day is Valentine's Day