Colonel Miles Quaritch: Welcome to Pandora. This is a Na'vi avatar. They are fierce and they are savage. Just don't tap on the glass, cause it freaks 'em out. [Cat Yowls] Now, the guy who was scheduled to take this avatar died from a cat allergy.

Tom Smelly: Ah-- [Splat]

Miles Quartich: So instead we're going with his brother, Jake Smelly.

Dr. Grace Augustine: Is that the best the military can do?

Miles Quartich: Well, we were gonna send the A-Team, but they wouldn't fit in the pod.

{A-Team Grunting}

B.A. Baracus: Oh, I pity the pod.

Dr. Grace: Uhh, better send Smelly.

Miles Quartich: Man your pod, Smelly, and good luck.

[The title card comes up with Jake Smelly na'vi's eyes "Avaturd"]

Jake Smelly [With Australian accent]: Wow, I look just like the Na'vi. Dr. Grace how did you duplicate them so perfect--

Dr. Grace [as an M&M]: What? It took a few tries to get it right, ok? Luckily everything on this planet is- {Gasps} [pointing at creature] Blue! Run Jake!

Blue: [Roars]
Dr. Grace: [Farts] Uhh. I think I just crapped in my shell.

[Blue chases Jake Smelly's Avatar]

Neytiri: [punches Blue with a stick, Grunting]

Blue: [Squealing]

Jake Smelly: Obviously, you're more of a cat person.

[Neytiri jumps down]

Neytiri: I am Neytiri of the Na'vi. We are a peaceful clan who are at one with nature.

Jake Smelly: Clearly.

[Scene goes to Blue who is badly damaged and insects buzzing over her]

Neytiri: These are my people. We live under the tree of souls with our clan leader, our spiritual leader...

Grover: Ahh!

Neytiri: ...and our music leader.

[Keyboard Cat plays a song]
[Jake Smelly goes down]

Neytiri: Everyone's a critic.

[Scene goes back to Pandora]

Jake Smelly: Why did you bring me back?

Parker Selfridge: To remind you, your mission is help us obtain this precious mineral known as Stupidnamium.

Jake Smelly: Stupidnamium? What moron came up with that?

[Scenes goes to Alfred picking Stupidnamium out of the 3 words.]

[Scene changes with a cat saying meow]

Neytiri: In order to fly, you must join with the banshee that chooses you.

Jake Smelly: How will I know which one chooses me?

Neytiri: It will try and kill you.

[gunshot]

["Terminator" - like music plays]
[Boing]

Banshee: [Yelps]

Jake Smelly: I got him when he wasn't looking.

Neytiri: That's not exactly what I meant, but the job is done.

[Scene changes with a cat saying meow]

Neytiri: Your initiation is finished.

Jake Smelly: Is that ceremonial paint?

Neytiri: No. It's banshee poo. It's all over the place, and we don't know what to do with it.

[Banshee poops on Neytiri's face]

Jake Smelly: I- I must confess something Neytiri. This body is just my avatar.

Neytiri: Where is your real body?

Jake Smelly: Safely protected in the transpod.

[Scene goes to Parker writing stuff on Jake's face, such as "OWNED"]

Jake Smelly: Everyone, listen. I know I've been here for 3 months and probably should have mentioned this earlier, but the sky people want to destroy your- [laser shoots structure] tree. Guess I should have put that on top of the list.

[Scene goes to Jake Smelly's To Do list. Also Na'vi are grumbling]

Miles Quartich: Step aside, Smelly. You had your chance.

Jake Smelly: Is that your latest military robot, Quartich?

Miles Quartich: No. It's a Blue-tendo actually. Got it for my birthday.

[Scene goes to the Bluetendo whirring and then punches Jake]

Jake Smelly: Uhh!

[Jake crashes to his human body]

Human Jake: [Moans and hugs Na'vi Jake Smelly]

Miles Quartich: Hello, Kitty.

Neytiri: [Hisses]

Miles Quartich: You can hiss all you want, but I'm protected inside this robotic suit.

Neytiri: What?

Miles Quartich: [Opens door] I said-

[Arrow hits Quartich]

Miles Quartich: Oh. I see what happened.

[Bluetendo crashes on Jake]

Neytiri: Jake!

[Neytiri hugs human Jake]

Human Jake: ICU.

Neytiri: I see you.

Human Jake: No. Get me to the ICU.

Neytiri: Oh. Uh, of course.

[sirens approaching]

[Scene goes to the Na'vi praying Jake Smelly]

Papa Smurf: You saved us, Jake Smelly, and as a thank you we will make you our king.

[Rafiki holds up Jake Smelly, light shines on him]

[Scene ends with Keyboard Cat playing a song]