I make a date for golf, you can bet you life it rains
I try to give a party and the guy upstairs complains
I guess, I'll go through life just catchin' colds and missin' trains
Everything happens to me

I never miss a thing, I've had measles and the mumps
And every time I play my ace, my partner always trumps
I guess, I'm just a fool, who never looks before he jumps
Everything happens to me

At first, my heart thought, you could break this jinx for me
That love would turn the trick to end my despair
But now, I just can't fool this head that thinks for me
I've mortgaged all my castles in the air

I've telegraphed and called, I sent, air mail special too
You answer was goodbye and there was even postage due
I fell in love just once and then it had to be with you
Everything happens to me