[Intro: Nat King Cole]
Women are irrational, that's all there is to that
There heads are full of cotton, hay, and rags
They're nothing but exasperating, irritating
Vacillating, calculating, agitating
Maddening and infuriating hags

Figuring, why can't a woman be more like a man?

[Verse 1 Nat King Cole]
Why can't a woman be more like a man?
Men are so honest, so thoroughly square
Eternally noble, historically fair
Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat
Well, why can't a woman be like that?

Why does everyone do what the others do?
Can't a woman learn to use her head?
Why do they do evеrything their mothers do?
Why don't they grow up likе their father instead?
Why can't a woman take after a man?
Men are so pleasant, so easy to please
Whenever you are with them, they're always at ease

[Verse 2: Nat King Cole & Male]
Now would you be slighted if I didn't speak for hours?
Of course not
Would you be livid if I had a drink or two?
Nonsense
Would you be wounded if I never sent you flowers?
Never
Well, why can't a woman be like you?
[Verse 3: Nat King Cole]
One man in a million may shout a bit
Now and then there's one with slight defects
One, perhaps, whose truthfulness you doubt a bit
But by and large we are a marvelous sex
Why can't a woman behave like a man?
Men are so friendly, good natured and kind
A better companion you never will find

[Verse 4: Nat King Cole & Male]
If I were hours late for dinner, would you bellow?
Of course not
If I forgot your silly birthday, would you fuss?
Nonsense
Would you complain if I took out another fellow?
Never
Well, why can't a woman be like us?

[Verse 5: Nat King Cole]
Madam, why can't a woman be more like a man?
Men are so decent, such regular chaps
Ready to help you through any mishaps
Ready to buck you up whenever you are glum
Why can't a woman be a chum?

Why is thinking something women never do?
Why is logic never even tried?
Straightening up their hair is all they ever do
Why don't they straighten up the mess that's inside?
Why can't a woman be more like a man?
If I was a woman who'd been to a ball
Been hailed as a princess by one and by all
Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing?
Carry on as if my home were in a tree?
Would I run off and never tell me where I'm going?
Why can't a woman be like me?