Hey, wait! Hey, can we have some more fuckin' [?], I can't hear a fuckin' thing. Pull that over there. Pull that over there.

All right! I wanted the fuckin' thing louder here. I can't hear nothing!

Just make sure... just make sure my girls are here. I want to abuse... I want to rape somebody tonight. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, shut this off. Okay. I want to rape somebody here tonight. You could be willing, or I'll just go for ya. What's it gonna be?

[audience member says "Not me!"]

I'm not gonna rape him, 'cuz he's not my type. He's got a big wide asshole. Okay. I'll either rape somebody willingly, or else...

Okay, I just want everybody, okay... see, you guy over here? Move over. Move over. You, move over. Over. Well, spit on me if you want, but move over. I need some room. I need some room.

[audience members shouting indistinctly in the background]

Maybe I will and maybe I won't. I've got something to say here, all right? I've got something to say here. Now, the thing is, this has been happening for a while now. No, you don't have to go way back. Just stay right where you are. I need some room here.

This is, like, uh... something that, like, every guy, right?... every guy in here is thinking about. You got these fuckin' girls... except him. I want to suck his cock again. He's got a nice cock. He does. Look at him. He looks like Joe Stud, but he's got a big cock. I just want him to get it up, so I can suck the cum out.

[audience member: "Too bad you're not gay, GG! You might be!"]

I've fucked my dog, I've fucked my brother, but I'd rather have a girl. Now, the thing is... I fucked my mother, too, when she was young. But she got fat and ugly, and she don't like me anymore.

Ask Bob Angell. Anybody here know Bob Angell, from The NewPaper? He says... he told me I'm not worthy of skin.

[audience member: "Yeah, I fucked him up the ass!"]
I've got skin. And it bleeds. And it ain't fake, and it ain't bullshit. And it ain't fuckin' hardcore, it ain't whatever the fuck you want to call it. It's scum! It's scum fuckin' suckin' dog! 'Cuz I am your fuckin' God, and you know it. And I may never play here again... maybe I will. It depends on how much money they made, and I don't give a fuck how much money they made. As long as I've got enough to drink after the show.

And I don't even care if every one of you leaves here tonight saying "this guy fuckin' sucks", because maybe I do! I'm not doin' it. I play three times, four times a year, so what do I give a fuck? I ain't no goddamn rock star. I ain't no Bon Jovi. I ain't no fuckin' Cinderella. I ain't no fuckin' good-looking guy. I'm an ugly motherfuckin' rapist scumfuc! I'm ugly! I'm ugly! I can't get laid, I have to beat off!

And you know what, I'm sure 50% of the guys in here've got to beat off too. But they won't admit it, and I will, 'cuz I like to beat off! I beat off fuckin' six times a fuckin' day. And I'm sure you do. You beat off? Tell me, seriously. Do you beat off? Do you beat off?

[audience member: "No!"]

Yeah, you're bull-fuckin'-shit, too. You're not good-looking, motherfucker. You beat off just like everybody else. Okay, you're a fuckin' nigger, then. Only niggers don't beat off. Niggers... fuck niggers! Fuck Abraham Lincoln! Hooray for the KKK! Fuck jigaboos too! I hate fuckin' niggers. He's a nigger, 'cuz he don't beat off.

[audience member: "Can I say something about Bob Angell?"]

Bob Angell? This guy wants to say something about Bob Angell. He bought me drinks... [trails off]

[audience member: "Bob Angell couldn't suck my dick if he wanted to."]

I'd let him suck mine. I've got gonorrhea.

[audience member: "He's one jealous motherfucker. He's jealous."]

'Cuz I'm God and he ain't.

Hey, we have to, we have to... hey, we're just telling you the way it is. Fuck you.

I wanna rape you. You keep this fuckin' space for me. Keep my space. Okay, everybody back. Back. Okay. I wanna rape you. Anybody want to lick my fuckin'...
[audience members yelling indistinctly]

I wanna rape you. If you only knew!