You slimy fuckin' cunt! Yeah, you missed. Fuck you!

Hit him! Beat him up! Give me my fuckin' cord. Give me my fuckin' cord. I just wanna rape the fuckin' cunt.

You fuckin' goddamn Providence fuckin' cunt! How the fuck can I rape you when you're all fuckin' standing in the fuckin' back? I wanna rape you! You fuckin' cunt!

[indistinct shouting and jeering from the audience]

You suck my fuckin' cock, you fuckin' big motherfuckin' overgrown fuckin' big dick. If you guys... you don't even beat off, so fuck you. You want to rape every girl in this fuckin' club, and you know it. And you're fuckin' bullshit!

[more shouting from the audience]

Yeah, well I wanna fuckin' rape, and I want to abuse young girls. You don't like it, get the fuck out of here.

[more shouting from the audience]

Okay, you do whatever you want, and come up here and challenge me, motherfucker. You wanna do it right now? I'm ready. You come up here, you take your fuckin' coat off, and I'll have you a goddamn slug-out. We'll clear the floor. You want to do that? Do you want to do that? I'll do it. You want to do it? You say yes or no, don't just spit on yourself.

Yeah, 'cuz you're a goddamn fuckin' pussy. Yeah, pussy! You don't wanna rape no girl, you don't fuckin' beat off, you're a goddamn fuckin' pussy. Get the fuck out of my face, fuckface.

Yeah. Oh yeah, you're good too. I'll come out there, I'll punch your face in. Believe it.

Okay. We need... we... wait, wait. We need the girls. We need the girls for this one.

[audience member: "He stole my beer!"]
Which mother... so, then you go kick the shit out of him. You owe this motherfucker a beer.

Hey, we got some girls! Okay, okay! This is not your average show, right? You've got to sit around, you're gonna do what we're gonna do. We've got these girls. We've got these girls. They're called The Scumettes, and they're very, very beautiful. And this is not rehearsed, believe me. I met them tonight, I offered to buy their underwear, they sold it to me. They're good enough...

So... okay, listen, listen. Everybody back. Everybody back again. Back. Everybody back. We're gonna do that. These girls are The Scumettes.

Look at that, I've got real blood, man! Real blood. It's not King Kong Bundy, it's GG Fuckface. I'm not no fuckin' wrestler. I [?]. I like to beat off and fuck myself, and I'm a total scumfuc. And I don't give a fuck about music, I don't give a fuck about you, I don't give a fuck about nothin' but drink, fight, and fuck.

And it's not no bullshit. I'm not Billy Graham. I don't give a fuck about your goddamn money. You buy me a goddamn drink... motherfucker's gonna die, right here.

[audience member: "Fuck you!"]

Come on, fuckface. Yeah, what do you wanna do, two-on-one? Three-on-one? Let's do two-on-two. Two-on-two. Donnie, let's go, two-on-two. Take care of him? Wanna take care of him? Let's go.

Keep the girls up here. Keep the girls...

[indistinct chatter from backstage]

No, they're gonna use my mic.

Two-on-two. You want to do it? You want to do it, Donnie?

Hey, are we gonna get paid? Are we gonna get paid if we fight these guys, or what? I want to hear from the manager; we need the money. It's up to him. If he says we're gettin' paid, we'll go for you. Hey, you wait here. You wait here. You wait. We'll go two-on-two.

[indistinct shouting from the audience]
It's up to the management, because I need the money.

[voice from backstage: "Any fights, no payment."]

Any fights, no payment. So I can't fight you. You kick the shit out of me, and I'll kick the shit out of you, and it'll be an informal thing. Of course you're gonna gang up, because you're pussies.

[indistinct response from the audience]

We will. We will, though. It's two-on-two. But the management won't pay us, and believe me, we need the fuckin' money.

[indistinct shouting from the audience]

Because we've got a long set. We've only done three songs, been a half an hour.

Okay, now this is an experiment. [?] gotta know one thing. Okay, everybody quiet down. Gotta know one thing. Does anybody... seriously. Does anybody have any drugs? I mean, we'll pay for it after the show, but we want it now. You'll get... yeah, you give me the finger, motherfucker, but you're a fuckin' fat fuckin' asshole.

[indistinct shouting from the audience]

I'll do whatever I wanna fuckin' do. But does anybody have any, any... I mean, we'll smoke a joint between all of us. I don't care, I'll pass it around to every motherfucker here. Because it don't fuckin' matter. There is no law, no authority, do what the fuck you want to do.

I mean, look at these two fine young girls we've got up here. I'm gonna... they're gonna sell me their underwear so I can beat off for the next two weeks, and all they've got to do is sing this song. And they don't even know what the fuck they're doing!

And we've got... the drummer back here is so excited. I don't want to say anything, but his girlfriend's out there. And he's getting a hard-on just thinking about it!

I'm gonna suck your cock later. You know what I really wish I could do, though? I really wish I could take a shit on you.
Take a picture of me, baby. Take a picture of that small cock, close up. You don't even need binoculars. But you need binoculars if you're standing out back. But my dick... this is it. It's so small, but when I beat off, it still fuckin' spits. And I'm not ashamed to say that motherfucker is like God to me. You ever heard of a band called the Pee Wee Dicks? They're my children.

Okay, we're gonna do "Sluts in the City", and you know what? This is a song that we can't play at all... doin' it anyway.