Well after all, Pickering
I'm an ordinary man
Who desires nothing more than an ordinary chance
To live exactly as he likes, and do precisely what he wants...
An average man am I, of no eccentric whim
Who likes to live his life, free of strife
Doing whatever he thinks is best, for him
Well... just an ordinary man...

BUT, Let a woman in your life
And your serenity is through
She'll redecorate your home
From the cellar to the dome
And then go on to the enthralling fun of overhauling you...

Let a woman in your life
And you're up against a wall
Make a plan and you will find
That she has something else in mind
And so rather than do either you do something else that neither likes at all

You want to talk of Keats and Milton, she only wants to talk of love
You go to see a play or ballet, and spend it searching for her glove
Let a woman in your life and you invite eternal strife
Let them buy their wedding bands for those anxious little hands...
I'd be equally as willing for a dentist to be drilling than to ever let
A woman in my life

I'm a very gentle man, even tempered and good natured who you never hear complain
Who has the milk of human kindness by the quart in every vein
A patient man am I, down to my fingertips
The sort who never could, ever would, let an insulting remark escape his lips
Very gentle man...

But, Let a woman in your life, and patience hasn't got a chance
She will beg you for advice
Your reply will be concise, and she will listen very nicely
And then go out and do exactly what she wants!!!

You are a man of grace and polish, who never spoke above a hush
All at once you're using language that would make a sailor blush
Let a woman in your life, and you're plunging in a knife
Let the others of my sex, tie the knot around their necks
I prefer a new edition of the Spanish Inquisition than to ever let a
Woman in my life
I'm a quiet living man
Who prefers to spend the evening in the silence of his room
Who likes an atmosphere as restful as an undiscovered tomb
A pensive man am I, of philosophical joys
Who likes to meditate, contemplate, far for humanities mad inhuman noise
Quiet living man....

But, let a woman in your life, and your sabbatical is through
In a line that never ends comes an army of her friends
Come to jabber and to chatter and to tell her what the matter is with YOU!
She'll have a booming boisterous family
Who will descend on you en mass
She'll have a large Wagnerian mother, with a voice that shatters glass
Let a woman in your life, Let a woman in your life, Let a woman in your life
I shall never let a woman in my life