Julie Andrews
My Husband the Pig / Every Day a Little Death
[THE WIFE, spoken]
My husband, the pig
The swaggering bore I'll do anything for
What a pig!

[sung]
The air of disdain is appalling
The level of decency nil
If he thinks that I'll always come crawling, Ha!
I will

My husband, the pig
I worship the ground
That lie kicks me around
On, the pig
I have no objection to passing inspection
But who can contend with an endless erection
That falls to its knees when it sees its reflection?
My husband ...

Like a clot in the cream
Or a fly in the jam
Till I think that I'm going to scream –
And I am!
But would anyone here give a damn?
All, well ...
Every day a little death
In the parlor, in the bed
In the curtains, in the silver
In the buttons, in the bread
Every day a little sting
In the heart and in the head
Every move and every breath
And you hardly feel a thing
Brings a perfect little death

He smiles sweetly, strokes my hair
Says he misses me
I would murder him right there
But first I die
He talks softly of his wars
And his horses
And his whores
I think love's a dirty business!

[THE YOUNGER WOMAN]
So do I!
So do I...

[THE WIFE]
I'm before him on my knees
And he kisses me
He assumes I'll lose my reason
And I do
[THE YOUNGER WOMAN]
Men are stupid, men are vain

[THE WIFE]
Love's disgusting, love's insane

[BOTH]
A humiliating business!

[THE YOUNGER WOMAN]
Oh, how true!

[THE WIFE]
Ah, well
Every day a little death

[THE YOUNGER WOMAN]
Every day a little death

[THE WIFE]
In the parlor, in the bed

[THE YOUNGER WOMAN]
On the lips and in the eyes

[THE WIFE, THE YOUNGER WOMAN]
In the curtains, in the silver In the murmurs, in the pauses
In the buttons, in the bread In the gestures, in the sighs
[THE WIFE]
Every day a little sting

[THE YOUNGER WOMAN]
Every day a little dies

[THE WIFE]
In the heart and in the head

[THE YOUNGER WOMAN]
In the looks and in the lies

[THE WIFE]
Every move and every breath

[BOTH]
And you hardly feel a thing
Brings a perfect little death