[Verse 1]
Some static started in the pool hall
Hit a motherfucker's face with the cue ball
And I met this girl, she tried to gank me
So I smacked her in the booty with a plank, B
'Cause me and my crew were out breaking windows
The bingo, the lotto, you know I'll never win those
Possession is half the law, I had my routines before all y'all
Your whole life is coming apart at the seams
You ain't nothing but a car thief biting routines
See, I'm a city slicker, I, I ain't no townie
Right now, I wish I had another hash brownie
And like Ricky always said, you've got to toke and pass
Or Mookie's gonna kick your motherfucking ass
Try to take what isn't yours like a god damn rat
See I, personally, I wouldn't even wanna go out like that

[Verse 2]
I'm a writer, a poet, a genius, I know it
I don't buy cheeba, I grow it (I'm a farmer)
People always trying to get next to me
I had a beautiful experience on ecstasy
I smoked up a bag of elephant tranquilizer
Because I had to deal with a money-hungry miser
Had a 'caine-filled Kool with my man, Rush Rush
Saw my teeth fall in the sink when I started to brush
You be doing nose candy on the Bowie coke mirror
My girl asked for some, but I pretended not to hear her
You can't deny me, you always want to try me
Yo, you're just gonna get your ass kicked
Homeboy, throw in the towel
Your girl got dicked by Ricky Powell
The Godfather of Soul in the belly of the beast
Smoking that dust at St. Anthony's Feast
[Verse 3]
All the wife beaters and all the tax cheaters
Sitting in the White House pulling their peters
Buy my cheeba from the cop down the street
The only cop with a rope chain when he's walking the beat
So like a sneaky pouch time-bomb ticking
A-like the beat to my rhyme just kicking
Space cake cookies, I discover who I am
I'm a dusted old bummy Hurdy Gurdy Man
Five-oh caught me, now I'm going to the mountains
Said good-bye to my girl, my lawyer and accountants
My mind is kinda rhyming, and I think I oughta think
So I'm rockin' all the rhymes, and I'll have another drink
So the lights are flashing, my mind is spinning
I feel like it is always the beginning of another rhyme
I'm rapping, emceeing, I rock
You ain't nothing but a car thief who must be stopped

[Outro]
Soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft
Soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft