[Intro]
Ahh, yeah

[Verse 1]
I looked out the window, seen his bald head
Ran to the fridge and pulled out an egg
Scoped him with my scopes, he had no hair
Launched that shot, and he was caught out there
Saw the convertible driving by
I loaded up the slingshot, let one fly
He went for his to find he didn't have one
Put him in check, correct, with my egg-gun
The egg, a symbol of life
I go inside your house and bust out your wife
I pulled out the jammy, he thought it was a joke
The trigger, I pulled - his face, the yolk
Reached in his pocket, took all his cash
Left my man standing with the egg mustache
Suckers, they come a dime a dozen
"When I say dozen, you know what I'm talkin' about, boy"

[Refrain]
Yeah, that's right, I'm the Egg Man
Driving around, king of the town (yeah)
Always got my windows rolled down
Ready to throw
You know, I'm the Egg Man
Once upon a time (Egg Man…)
[Verse 2]
Humpty Dumpty was a big fat egg
He was playing the wall, then he broke his leg
Tossed it out the window, three minutes hot
Hit the Rastaman, he said, (Bloodclot!)
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
I egged the chicken, and then I ate his leg
Riding the trains, in between cars
When I pull out the station, You're Gonna Get Yours
Drive-by eggings, plaguing LA
"Yo, you just got my little cousin, ese!"
Sometimes hard-boiled, sometimes runny (Ray)
Comes from a chicken, not a bunny, dummy
People laugh, it's no joke
My name's "Yauch" and I'm throwing the yolk
Now they got me in a cell, but I don't care
It was then that I got caught catching people out there

[Refrain]
Up on the roof, in my car, up all night
I'm going through science like Dolemite
The Mack (Who?)
I'm the Egg Man… Taxi driver?
I'm the Egg Man
Egg Man, Egg Man
[Verse 3]
We all dressed in black, we snuck up around the back
We began to attack, the eggs did crack on Haze's back
Sam I Am, down with the program
Green Eggs and Ham, Yosemite Sam
Come Halloween, you know I come strapped
I throw it at a sucker… "k-pap"
You made the mistake and judge a man by his race
You go through life with egg on your face
Woke up in the morning, peculiar feeling
Looked up and saw egg dripping from the ceiling
The family, punk rocks, the businessman
I'll dog everybody with the egg in my hand
It's not like the crack that you put in a pipe
But crack on your forehead; here's a towel, now wipe

[Outro]
Egg Man, Egg Man, Egg Man, Egg Man, Egg Man, Egg Man
Egg Man, Egg Man, Egg Man, Egg Man, Egg Man, Egg Man
Egg Man, Egg Man, Egg Man, Egg Man, Egg Man...
Egg Man...