Here's a little ditty about a good guy I know
He's named the Heart Attack Man
And, you know, he weighs in pretty hefty
My man's like two hundred seventy...
(Laughing)
How much he weigh?
(Laughing)
He's like the guy in the Hefty bag commercial

Okay, okay, let's take it from here

Drink a six-pack, and then you play some ball
Walking down the stairs, and then he starts to fall
Add on two joints, and he starts to sweat
Two hundred seventy-five pounds that you can't forget

Cause he's a...
Heart Attack, Heart Attack Man
Spend all your money on your health insurance plan
Heart Attack, Heart Attack Man
Keep on getting bigger because you know that he can

Why do you force yourself on top of that girl?
Laugh with all your buddies because it's a man's man's world
Someday, that shit will come back to you
Throwing your weight around, that shit is through
Heart Attack, Heart Attack Man
Going nowhere, and got no master plan
Heart Attack, Heart Attack Man

Weighs in at two seventy-five
(Step back, step back, or catch a heart attack)
Yeah, my man is lucky to be alive
(Step back, step back, or catch a heart attack)
Smokin' and drinkin’, too
(Step back, step back, or catch a heart attack)
My man, the Heart Attack Man, is gonna be running over you
(Step back, step back, or catch a heart attack)
Got no goddamn respect
(Step back, step back, or catch a heart attack)
Yeah, you'd better put your big, big bitch ass in check
(Step back, step back, or catch a heart attack)

Heart Attack, Heart Attack Man
Lungs full of tar and a stomach full of Spam
Heart Attack, Heart Attack Man
Time to change your ways, Heart Attack Man

Oh, what do we know about partying or anything else?