EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
BERNIE SANDERS
VS
ANDRÉ VENTURA
BEGIN

André Ventura:
For someone who wants to command the US of A
You should just head to Venezuela
I'm known to scare politicians so they try to stop me
But call this the election 'cus you're gonna fail (Ha!)
You say you’ll take more from CEOs’ profit
Now all lazy people see you as a prophet
This populist barks for the problems that he can’t solve
So think twice ‘fore you start another one
'Cus when you mess with Ventura, I'll throw you out the rua
How can you even battle me? You're an aging boomer!
My wits leave the leftist twits shook
Your ideas lack principle, pops, you could really use reading my books
Yes, we both wanna serve our citizens
Difference is, socialist. You’re a pretty shady bitch
Became a millionaire now you toned down in talking
You’re just another cut in the workers’ pockets
I don’t get your purpose, man, what do you see that’ll bring world peace?
You’re fighting for the rights of people who rob and stab each other in the streets?
And see, this is why people value me
I speak what’s on their minds ‘cus they’re tired of suffering
So keep in mind while you’re spewing your ideas
That no matter what you say you’re still no match for me
Bernie Sanders:
I’ve heard enough ranting from your type
You’re just a clown who favors the lives of whites
And straights and cis, you’re the shady bitch
Say you care about people, as long as they’re rich
You spilled hot takes and got fame
You’re a diet Bolsonaro with ideas you can’t even maintain
‘Cause in reality, you’re a nationalist no-name
Your very existence puts democracy to shame
Why am I battling this dumbass congressman?
With such a small party, trying to set a precedent
Banning this, banning that, taking residents’ rights
Salazar would be happy seeing you as a president
My influence on workers is big, and it keeps getting bigger
You’ve been in power for a month, and voters are already screaming 'CHEGA!’

André Ventura:
Yet another green spreading lies about me
You’re so repetitive, you should join PCP
All I got from your verse was droolin’ and mumbling
I've heard clearer points from J-J-Joacine
Call me a fascist? What I choose to fight for
Doesn't even breach the status quo of your hellish landform
I speak the truth from the portuguese minds
Who work but get fucked by the people of your kind
I’m on the mic, I don’t stop being bold
Even the PM freezes when I spit facts this cold
You can’t reach my academic level, you might as well stop
I’ll be chewing on some lupins while we watch your country drop
Bernie:
The people chant my name and son, I’m ready to brawl
You thought your rhymes could set me straight
But who's the one in this battle that reviews balls? (GOAL!)
I stand strong among the activists
To put an end to all white nationalists
I've swept the floor with so many nazis they should call me Bernie Blazkowicz
I'm here to save the country, no time for your games
You wouldn't even be leader in your own ethnostate
And you think that you’re better because of my age?
You best retreat to your seat if you really wanna ‘save face’
You’re just another Trump that I’ll stump
And you won’t have another turn
These bars were hotter than Pedrogão
Did you feel the Bern?