Tonight I am an alley cat, yeah
More afraid of you than you are of me
But if you leave some food out on the porch
I might stay 'til there's nothing left to eat
I'd be sitting alone at a lunch table in high school
If I wasn't sitting alone at a punk show in Asheville

Tonight the upper left hand side of my chest
Has a hole as big as the one in my pockets
I mighta kissed you wearing a bulletproof vest
But hell, you kiss like a rocket
I'd be a teenage virgin jerking off in my bedroom
If I wasn't a 20 year old virgin that didn't have a bedroom