[GASTON, spoken]
Crazy old Maurice, hmm? Crazy old Maurice, hmm...
(sung)
LeFou, I'm afraid I've been thinking

[LEFOU]
A dangerous pastime—

[GASTON]
I know
But that whacky old coot is Belle's father
And his sanity's only so-so
Now, the wheels in my head have been turning
Since I looked at that loony, old man
See, I've promised myself I'd be married to Belle
And right now I'm evolving a plan
(spoken)
If I... *whispers*

[LEFOU, spoken]
Yes?

[GASTON, spoken]
Then we... *whispers*

[LEFOU, spoken]
No! Would she—
[GASTON, spoken]
*whispers* Guess!

[LEFOU, spoken]
Now I get it!

[GASTON & LEFOU]
Let's go!
No one plots like Gaston

[GASTON]
Takes cheap shots like Gaston

[LEFOU]
Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston

[Chorus]
So his marriage we soon will be celebrating
My, what a guy, Gaston!