Eddie's first wife was a vision
The bride on the wedding cake
Thought he was the luckiest man alive
That was his first mistake

He'd found him the perfect woman
That's what he thought he had
Found him a girl just like the girl
Who married dear old dad

Where have you gone, Betty Crocker?
Come back, Brigitte Bardot, Eddie was in for a shocker
How was he supposed to know
About the secret life of Eddie's first wife?

Eddie came home one evening
She met him at the door with a drink
Said I got something to tell you, baby
But you better sit down I think

She said I found me somebody
Someone who rocks my world
I'm in love and I don't care who knows it
And she's a good old fashioned girl

Where have you gone, Betty Crocker?
Come back, Brigitte Bardot, Eddie was in for a shocker
How was he supposed to know
About the secret life of Eddie's first wife?
She might look like the Venus de Milo
She might be the marryin' kind
But you can't judge a book by the cover
You got to read between the lines

Where have you gone, Betty Crocker?
Come back, Brigitte Bardot, Eddie was in for a shocker
How was he supposed to know
About the secret life of Eddie's first wife?