[Verse 1: John Fleming, Casey Neistat, Jared Polis and Michael Gregory]
Marijuana’s in baked goods, gummy bears, for heaven’s sakes
It’s in the lining of my Fruit of the Looms
What happens in one state affects the other states
Colorado, he’s looking at you
Leave my sovereign state of Colorado alone
Let our people smoke
That’s all I ask
Colorado wants to blaze
Is that too much to grasp?

I don't want their darn fried crayfish
I don't want it (I don't want it) I don't want it
What if it's fried?
Might clog your arteries, you might die (No lie)
Maybe smoking crayfish ain't good for you
I don't want it (I don't want it) I don't want it
Leave Colorado alone
Marijuana use is down since legalization

The problems are much worse with marijuana
Too many people reaching nirvana
Want me to ban fried crayfish in Louisiana?
Is shrimp illegal? Thanks, Obama!

I don't want their darn fried crayfish
I don't want it (I don't want it) I don't want it
What if it's fried?
Might clog your arteries, you might die (No lie)
Maybe smoking crayfish ain't good for you
I don't want it (I want it) I don't want it
Leave Colorado alone
Marijuana use is down since legalization
[Verse 2: Donald Trump and Sarah Gregory]
I'm really rich (he's rich)
I've done an amazing job
I have so many websites all over the place
I'd be the greatest President that God ever creates
We have losers, we have losers
We have people that don't have it (schmucks)
How stupid are our leaders?
How stupid are they?
When Mexico sends its people
They're not sending their best
They're sending their rapists (sending their what?)
Sending their rapists

[Verse 3: Barack Obama and Sarah Gregory]
I wanna thank all of you
Can you confirm Half Life 3?
No no no no no no no no no
Na na na na Batman!
No (Please)
No (Half)
No (Life)
No (Three)
Senpai, notice me
Listen, you're in my house
It's not respectful when you get invited to my house
I'm just asking for transparency
But not when I'm up in the house, know what I'm saying?
[Verse 4: Megyn Kelly and Mike Huckabee]
Tonight a remarkable sight at the White House
A new chapter in civil rights at the White House
Which is aglow in colors of the rainbow
America was a different country 11 hours ago

How do we accept this?
How do you not?
The laws of nature, the laws of God
They get the final say
They've interpreted it this way
For gays and lesbians today
They get the final say
They've interpreted it this way
For gays and lesbians today