[Verse 1]
The man who preached the funeral said it really was a simple way to die
He laid down to rest one afternoon and never opened up his eyes
They hired me and Fred and Joe to dig the grave and carry up some chairs
It took us seven hours and I guess we must've drunk a case of beer

[Verse 2]
I guess I ought to go and watch them put him down, but I don't own a suit
And anyway, when they start talking 'bout the fire and hell, well, I get spooked
So I'll just sit here in my truck and act like I don't know him when they pass
Anyway, when they're all through, I've got to go to work and mow the grass

[Verse 3]
Well, here they come and who's that riding in that big ol' shiny limousine?
Look at all that chrome, I do believe that that's the sharpest thing I've seen
That must belong to his rich uncle, someone said he owned a great big farm
When they get parked, I'll mosey down and look her over, that won't do no harm

[Verse 4]
Well, that must be the widow in the car and would you take a look at that
That sure is a pretty dress, you know, some women do look good in black
He's not even in the ground and they say that his truck is up for sale
They say she took it pretty hard, but you can't tell too much behind the veil

[Verse 5]
Listen, ain't that pretty when that bugler plays the military taps?
I think that when he was in the war, they'd always hide and play a song like that
Well, here I am and there they go and I guess you'd just call it my bad luck
I hope he'll rest in peace, the trouble is that fellow owes me forty bucks