[Chorus 1]
Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas
Christmas everywhere
Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas
Pulling out my hair
Shoppers lined up out the door
Traffic backed up miles or more
It's Christmas time so what the heck
Let's go spend the whole paycheck

[Chorus 2]
Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas
Morning, noon, and night
Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas
Christmas, Am I right?

[Verse 1]
Larry wants a Lincoln Log
Carrie wants a puppy dog
And Johnny wants a ball and bat
Hey, let's make that a cowboy hat
Momma wants a kitchen sink
And Daddy wants a stiffer drink
Grandma wants us to cut the crap
Grandpa wants a nice long nap
[Chorus 3]
Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas
Christmas out the waz
Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas
Christmas up the schnozz
Come all ye faithful, don't be slow
It's Christmas time, you can't say "no"

[Instrumental]

[Verse 2]
Rudy wants a motorboat
Judy wants a new mink coat
Penny wants a brand new car
Jenny wants to be a star
And Billy wants the state of Texas
Lily wants to sue her exes
Maggie wants a string of pearls
Donald wants to rule the world

[Chorus 4]
Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas
Christmas here again
Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas
Christmas wearing thin
Deck the halls, it is the season
We don't need no rhyme or reason
It's Christmas time, go spread the cheer
Pretty soon gon' be next year
[Bridge: Lera Lynn]
As long as I'm upon your knee
Santa, won't you bring to me
A time machine that I can ride
Back to the day John Lennon died
I know that I could stop the man
Who held that pistol in his hand
And by the way, for what it's worth
Please bring my sister peace on earth

[Chorus 5]
Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas
Christmas makes me happy
I love Christmas cold and gray
I love it sweet and sappy
Says crazy kissin' Cousin Flo:
"Let's break out the miseltoe"
Spike the punch with something strong
Sing our favorite Christmas song
Up On The Rooftop, click click click
That [?] they call Saint Nick