[Verse 1: Rodney Crowell]
It's Christmas in Vidor, eighty-eight degrees
The taco stand’s padlocked, Spanish moss hangin' from the trees
Flip-flops stickin' to an asphalt road
The whole damn town is decorated to implode
My lawnmower dies with a cough and a moan
Ain’t nothin' around here you'd wanna stick a bow on

[Verse 2: Mary Karr]
How'd I wind up down here, you might ask
For that story, brother, you're gonna have to pony up cash
I planned to leave with a man dressed up like the president
But he got him a union card, we never went
Pipe fittin' wasn't no fun
So he got him a bass boat and he got him a gun
He got me a duplex, he got me some kids
We was gonna go to AstroWorld but we never did

[Chorus 1: Mary Karr & Rodney Crowell]
It's Christmas in Vidor
Ain’t it a bitch?
It’s Christmas in Vidor
[?] itch
It's Christmas in Vidor
Nowhere to go
It’s Christmas in Vidor
That's ash, that ain't snow
[Verse 3: Rodney Crowell & Mary Karr]
I won't build no snowman, won’t drink no nog
Just wander around in a bayou fog
Take out the turkey, lay down the grub
Fix my face, do the dishes, throw the kids in the tub
Spend the late night standin' inside the fridge door
Bathed in the green light and hungry for more
Back door's wide open; here's what I know
The end of that driveway is as far as I'll go

[Chorus 2: Mary Karr & Rodney Crowell]
It's Christmas in Vidor
Eighty-eight degrees
It's Christmas in Vidor
Oh, Jesus, please
It's Christmas in Vidor
Leave me alone
It's Christmas in Vidor
Just bein' here's gone
It's Christmas in Vidor
Can't pay the bills
It's Christmas in Vidor
Just pop a few pills
It's Christmas in Vidor
My baby girl's due
It's Christmas in Vidor
Hope it don't look like you
[Outro: Mary Karr & Rodney Crowell]
I'll wear the school colors, I'll go to the game
I'll take the prom pictures; don't they all look the same?
Come Christmas in Vidor this time next year
I'll be hopped up and propped up on Prozac and beer