[Intro: Andrew Schulz]
Woo-hoo baby, we're makin' country music
Uh-huh
Yee, yee, yee, yee

[Verse 1: Andrew Schulz]
Sittin' on a couch for 13 months
All I keep thinkin' 'bout is gettin' fucked up (Whipits)
Wanna take off my sweats and clip my pubes (Hey, where's my pecker?)
Tired of gettin' caught jerkin' off on Zoom (What are you doin'?)
Fauci says I need to double up my mask
Well, tell that little gerbil he can kiss my ass
I think it's time

[Chorus: Andrew Schulz]
Open 'er up like a can of beans
Open 'er up like a jar of weed
Open 'er up like Forest Whitaker's eye
Open 'er up and let's see what's inside
Like a good ol' boy with a sharp knifе skinnin' a buck
Open 'er up

[Verse 2: Andrew Schulz]
I'm not a child, don't need a curfew (Fuck you, Karеn)
Sick of doin' coke in my own bathroom (Babe, we're out of toilet paper)
I want C-section scars and some stretch mark titties
Come on sing along if you're with me
[Chorus: Andrew Schulz]
Open 'er up like a can of beans
Open 'er up like a jar of weed
Open 'er up like Forest Whitaker's eye
Open 'er up and let's see what's inside
Like a good ol' boy with a sharp knife skinnin' a buck
Open 'er up

[Break: Andrew Schulz]
Hey Jelly Roll, come out here and take us to church

[Verse 3: Jelly Roll]
I hope grandma Maxine gets her vaccine
So I can bag two bad blondes and tag-team
I'll nut fast as an athlete at a track meet
I want it that way, like the boys from Backstreet
I'm larger than life, like Chris Farley in Black Sheep
We've been locked down longer than Kodak Black's rap sheet
Pardon me, I miss women makin' my heart stop
I can't taste girl, I'll tounge-punch your fart box
Wearin' my mask at the table just isn't cool
It's kinda like havin' a pissin' section in pools
I miss hangin' in bars, I miss hangin' in groups
I wish that motherfucker wouldn't have put that bat in the soup

[Chorus: Andrew Schulz]
Open 'er up like a can of beans
Open 'er up like a jar of weed
Open 'er up like Forest Whitaker's eye
Open 'er up and let's see what's inside
Like a good ol' boy with a sharp knife skinnin' a buck
Open 'er up