[Verse 1]
I'm sorry that you've all gone soft
Advanced apologies required now for pissing you off?
I'll deny all of this to your face
Quit claiming to be indie rock
Because you aren't independent, and your rock and roll's fucked
I'll get the coffin, you supplied your own hammer

[Chorus 1]
(Please, please, please, please, please)
We'll put a nail in it, I hope the scene can fit
We'll throw it in the pit
As a sacrifice for middle aged men and screaming girls
(Please, please, please, please, please)
Your scene is full of shit, so start killing it
Don't be the hypocrite
The last teary-eyed thrift-store mope star in the world

[Verse 2]
A victim of the latest hoax
The iconoclasts have lied and you're not in on the joke
Prove they're not what they claim to be
Your money, gonna get your money, oh!
Criticize all that I've said
'Cause if I wasn't so pretentious, I'd cash in on the trend
Do lines, double fist pills, and O.D
[Chorus 2]
(Please, please, please, please, please)
Stop singin' it! Stop singin' it!
You're too serious!
How can you crack a smile if you can't laugh at yourself?
(Please, please, please, please, please)
You think you're legit, you're just the idiot
Here's how to deal with it
Bringing the asshole and douchebag level down
Ba-ba-ba-ba

[Bridge]
I'm not a part of your scene (ba ba)
Where fashion meets choreography
Your haircut is stupid, your pants are uncomfortable
You systematically plan every awkward forced guitar spin
Your emotion is a joke, your emotion is a joke
Your emotion's B-U-L-L-fucking-shit!
(Ba ba-ba-da, ba-ba-da, ba-ba-da
Ba ba ba-ba-ba-da, ah!)
All your favorite bands do coke, sorry

[Chorus 2]
(Please, please, please, please, please)
Stop singin' it! Stop singin' it!
It's too serious!
How can you crack a smile if you can't laugh at yourself?
(Please, please, please, please, please)
You think you're legit, you're just the idiot
Here's how to deal with it
Bringing the asshole and douchebag level down, oh!
[Outro]
(Please, please, please, please, please)
Stop singing that shit, we're tired of it
Start killing it, start killing it
Kick the baggage and the ego to the ground
(Please, please, please, please, please)
Stop singing that shit, we're so tired of it
Start killing it, oh, so I can
Kick the rotting carcass of your sound

"What you've got is, uh, a whole miserable subculture"