[Verse 1]
I am a young man with a simple occupation
I clean the toilets at a local railway station
There's no romance in my life
Sometimes I wish I had a knife
I read the offers on the advertisement pages
The cries for help from different people, different ages
But they have nothing to say
At least not until today
When something special I read
This is what it said:

[Chorus]
"If you dream of the girl for you
Then call us and get two for the price of one
It’s a bargain if you feel blue
So call us and get two for the price of one
If you dream of the girl for you
Then call us and get two for the price of one
It's a bargain if you feel blue
So call us and get two for the price of one"

[Verse 2]
I called the number and a voice said, "Alice Lexie"
The voice was husky and it sounded kinda sexy
I was amazed at my luck
The purest streak of gold I'd struck
I said, "I read your ad, it sounded rather thrilling
I think a meeting could be mutually fulfilling
Why don’t we meet for a chat?
The three of us in my flat
I can't forget what you said"
This is what I read:
[Chorus]
"If you dream of the girl for you
Then call us and get two for the price of one
It's a bargain if you feel blue
So call us and get two for the price of one
If you dream of the girl for you
Then call us and get two for the price of one
It's a bargain if you feel blue
So call us and get two for the price of one"

[Outro]
I am a young man with a simple occupation
I clean the platform and the toilets at a local railway station