[EMPRESS MATILDA]
Here's the tale of me, Matilda
And my fight with cousin Stephen to succeed
Henry first's throne.

[STEPHEN OF BLOIS]
My wife's also called Matilda

[MATILDA OF BOULOGNE]
Quite confusing 'cause we choose to claim
Matilda's throne as our own.

[HENRY PLANTAGENET]
I'm Henry, that Matilda's son

[STEPHEN OF BLOIS]
You got that?
Here's the story of our spat.

[EMPRESS MATILDA]
Starts in 1135, when King Henry, my father, died
And I think you'll find named me, Matilda, as his heir
But his nephew, Stephen, said

[STEPHEN OF BLOIS]
"That crown should be upon my head!
I'm a man and men come first.
What? It's only fair."
[EMPRESS MATILDA]
Had married Geoffrey of Anjou,
Stuck in France, not Waterloo.
When Steve without a voulez vous,
Took throne from me
Should be dancing queen

[STEPHEN OF BLOIS]
Oh, stop causing such a scene!

[STEPHEN OF BLOIS & EMPRESS MATILDA]
Gimme, gimme crown and take a chance on me
I'm heir to the throne not you! Ah-ha!

[STEPHEN OF BLOIS]
Think you'll get it back,
Now that I'd like to see!

[EMPRESS MATILDA]
Oh, I do, I do, I do!
Fought in Lincoln

[STEPHEN OF BLOIS]
She caught me

[EMPRESS MATILDA]
Was proclaimed first English Lady.
[MATILDA OF BOULOGNE]
But she made many enemies.
Remember me? I'm Stephen's wife.
Made royal councilors agree
That she lacked femininity
Took Stephen's army and besieged her

[EMPRESS MATILDA]
Eugh! More strife!
I was trapped so faked my death!
Hid in coffin, held my breath
Escaped!

[MATILDA OF BOULOGNE]
You think that I'm impressed?
Well, I'm not.
Just look who I've got
Your half brother, want to swap?
Gimme, gimme hubby

[ALL]
And we'll fight again
The winner takes it all
Ah-ha!

[STEPHEN OF BLOIS]
In Oxford I'll besiege
[EMPRESS MATILDA]
And I'll escape and then,

[HENRY PLANTAGENET]
I'll join the battle call
Age 14, I fought but lost
So Uncle Stephen stayed as boss
Who should be ruler, mamma?

[EMPRESS MATILDA]
Mia!

[ALL]
Here we go again.

[STEPHEN OF BLOIS]
Sadly my darling Matilda,
Caught a fever and it killed her
I gave up my dream to build a royal dynasty.
When my son died
Had no heir which was a bind

[HENRY PLANTAGENET]
Gimme, gimme crown
'Cause next in line it's me.

[STEPHEN OF BLOIS]
You can have it when I'm done.

[ALL]
Ah-ha!
So Empress Matilda never did make queen.

[EMPRESS MATILDA]
The throne went to my son.

[HENRY PLANTAGENET]
Knowing Mum, knowing you.
Everybody happy? Good!