[Willbond]
'Twas the age of Queen Victoria's
A period notorious
So many brand-new goods we did create
Our list is long and glorious
Though I don't intend to bore ya's
Was a time of great invention

[Lowe]
Was it really? What did we invent, then?

[Willbond]
Well, I'm just about to mention
Drum roll please, let's raise the tension
We invented...
This music hall

[Lowe]
Is that all?

[Willbond]
Well...
A chap called Henry Bessemer
Invented molten steel
Which lead to other chaps
Creating the automobile
Which lead to petrol, tyres, and bikes
So all that was required
Was roads, so concrete came
And tarmac thought up too
[Lowe]
You're hired!

[Both]
Oh...
Concrete, tarmac, steel

[Lowe]
The automobile

[Willbond]
Seal of rubber wheel

[Lowe]
Such inventive zeal

[Willbond]
Still there's plenty to reveal

[Lowe]
Victorian brains worked overtime
To come up with ideas

[Willbond]
We invented light bulbs
[Lowe]
Nice one!

[Willbond]
Cheers

[Lowe]
Typewriters and radios
Now news was fast conveyed
Hello!

[Willbond]
The telephone was no good
'til a second phone was made
Hello!

[Both]
Our inventors did not snooze

[Lowe]
Always had another ruse

[Willbond]
The latest flushing loos

[Lowe]
Films that did amuse
[Willbond]
Flashbulb cameras to use

[Lowe]
What a picture, what a picture!

[Willbond]
Vacuum cleaners, toilet paper
Post boxes and stamps

[Lowe]
Toilets, aspirin, anaesthetics
Locks, electric lamps

[Willbond]
Sewing machines, X-rays, comics
Ice cream in a pot

[Lowe]
Easter eggs and rockets

[Willbond]
We invented the whole lot

[Lowe]
Oh...

[Willbond]
Hang on, there's more
Trains and lines and bridges
And the Underground as well

[Lowe]
Paddle steamers, prams
And disinfectant for their smell

[Willbond]
Sterile doctor's instruments
One last unmentioned brand:
Victorians invented the world's first conveyor band

[Lowe]
Cuddly toy?

[Willbond]
Invented 1902: the year after Victoria died

[Both]
Oh
Barometers were new

[Willbond]
Iron ships are cool

[Lowe]
What genius!

[Willbond]
Thank you
Seems we're almost through

[Both]
Just one little oversight...

[Willbond]
We invented dynamite