[Monks (Howick/Baynton/Willbond)]
Welcome to our monastery
Please have a chair

[Bishop (Deary)]
Good to see you monks
So deep in prayer
Once the praying's finished
Your chores must be done
The main rule of a good monk's life is
No fun

[Monks]
We have to pray eight times a day
Seven days a week
And copy all these manuscripts
In writing so antique

[Monk 1 (Willbond)]
I'll finish off this letter 'a'
Once I've ploughed our field
Milked the cows, mucked the sows
Vegetables peeled

[Monk 2 (Baynton)]
I'll be doing that and praying too
[Bishop]
Very well gents, I'll bid you adieu

[Monks]
Adveniat regnum tuum

[Monk 3 (Howick)]
Okay brothers, I think he's gone!
Now the Bishop's not around
Throw off these religious gowns
Hunky!

[Monk 2]
Chunky!

[Monk 1]
Funky monks

[Monks]
Get down!

[Monk 3]
It's not all hymns and prayin'

[Monk 2]
It's not all work and no playing
[Monk 1]
So let's start misbehavin'

[Monks]
And get with the funk!

[Monk 3]
We love to have a party

[Monk 2]
Eat food that is hearty

[Monk 1]
Let's get the boozing started

[Monks]
Drunk like a monk

[Monk 3]
Play that monky music, funk boy

[Bishop]
Just wanted to check
That during my absence
You're honouring your
Mealtime vow of silence
[Monks]
Althought we didn't oughter
We liked to hunt and slaughter

[Monk 3]
Don't need no bread and water

[Monks]
Just fun, fun, fun
Monastery is jumpin'
Party beat is thumpin'

[Monk 2]
Just lacks a certain somethin'

[Monk 1]
A funky nun

[Monk 3]
Get in the party habit, girlfriend

[Bishop]
It's true that life is tough here
But you obey the rules that is clear
That's why we're a place of great repute
What's this? I see we have a new recruit
Welcome to our monastery, what's your name?

[Monk 3]
She--

[Monk 1]
He can't talk
And his name is... Wayne!

[Bishop & Monks]
Amen

[Nun (Lowe)]
Ah, men!