[Knox (Baynton)]
I'm Knox, a famous surgeon
And I earn my daily bread
By studying cadavers
Which are bodies not long dead
One day two suave young gentlemen
Appeared within my view

[Burke (Farnaby)]
I'm Mr. Burke

[Hare (Howick)]
I'm Mr. Hare

[Burke/Hare]
How do you do?

[Knox]
These gents explained that their acquaintance
Had just passed away
It seemed the body'd only been
A goner for a day

[Hare]
Excuse the curious offer...
[Knox]
Said Hare, or was it Burke?

[Hare]
But would you care to slice this up
To see how corpses work?

[Knox]
Well, it's always a palaver
Getting hold of a cadaver
So I said, yes, I'll have her
Oh, it's a he!

This body taught me much about
What makes a person poorly
Why some men live to 99
And some die prematurely
How these parts function perfectly
While others won't repair
How everything is interlinked
Oh, what's that doing there?
Till one day there was nothing left
And all my work was spent
Then Burke and Hare turned up again
My, how convenient!
Another slab of fresh
Human organ, bones, and flesh
Another gory sesh
Excellent news!

As time went on, these kind men
Brought me several guys and gals
My lab was chock-a-block with all
Their freshly passed-on pals
I paid them lots of money
Bodies came from everywhere
You really are a busy Mr. Burke

[Hare]
And Mr. Hare

[Knox]
They seemed such cultured gentlemen
I never did suspect
That Burke and Hare were not so nice
I really should have checked
Then one day a policeman came
Asked if I'd seen a chap
I hadn't, but days later
His corpse turned up in my lap
It seemed that these acquaintances
Of Burke and Hare actually
Were not their friends, and many
Did not always die naturally
Burke and Hare had murdered them
It was plain to see
Then brought their corpses to my lab
And pocketed the fee

The two men were arrested
But one of them set free
Poor Burke was hanged, but happily
His corpse was sent to me

Ooh, bit whiffy! Still, much to learn...