I am William Wallace
My life was a mystery
Some say born 1272
Some say 1263
Was Dad Malcolm of Paisley?
Maybe Alan from Ayr?
Did I have a wife or no
Do you really care?
They say I had a big red beard
But all you need to know
I was a Scottish rebel
And the English were my foe

William Wallace, Scottish rebel
"This is war," I cried
Many English fought me
And many English died

I took against the English
Back when I was fairly wee
Cause an Englishman called Selby
Bullied my whole family
It upset me, so I struck him
Dead - well, wouldn't you?
Then an English sheriff came along
Guess what, I killed him too
They say he killed my wife
So he deserved what he got
Then England's King Ed came for me
Oh, I'm scared... not!
William Wallace, Scottish rebel
Possibly six foot seven
But all that really matters is
I sent Englishmen to heaven

40,000 English came
To Stirling Bridge for me
They had to cross a narrow bridge
To get to us, you see
We held them off and pushed them back
It was no contest
Bridge collapsed, hundreds drowned
Of course, I killed the rest
I celebrated Stirling Bridge
Another Scottish win
By decorating my sword
With the English general's skin

William Wallace, Scottish rebel
Scottish legend too
Fought for Scottish freedom
Was a hero through and through

Here's where my rebel story comes unstuck
At Falkirk defeated, I ran out of luck
Spent seven years playing hide and seek
Captured, sent to London
Tried for treason, what a cheek
King Ed hanged me, then a lovely touch
Pulled my guts out
Guess he didn't like me much
Yeah
William Wallace, Scottish rebel
In Scotland my heart lived
Though, sadly my head wound up
On a spike on London Bridge

Ooh, that smarts