Horrible Histories
Ain’t Stayin’ Alive
[Verse 1]
We're Aztec priests, so mind your head
Our prisoners always wind up dead
Our favourite colour is blood red
We're not nice
At an Aztec temple's opening day
We priests would praise our gods this way
Hordes of enemies we'd slay
Mass sacrifice
To win at war, make crops grow more
To cure our kids when ill
The sun to shine, this song to rhyme
More victims we must kill

[Chorus]
Ha, ha, ha, ha
You won't survive, you won't survive
Ha, ha, ha, ha
Ain't stayin' alive, ain't stayin' alive
Yeah

[Bridge]
With sacrifice we priests appease
Our gods, each powerful big cheese
Let's hear it for your favourites please
Haaaa
[Verse 2]
We're doing it for Toci
The Aztec goddess of the earth's heart
We're doing it for Chantico
Goddess who makes volcanoes start
We're doing it for Iztli
The goddess of stone knives
We're doing it for Itzpapalotl, Ometochtli, Chiconahuiehecatl
Er...
Some other gods' great lives!

[Chorus]
Ha, ha, ha, ha
Don't cross us Aztecs, we advise ya
Ha, ha, ha, ha
Or you'll end up as fertiliser
Yeah

[Verse 3]
Our year starts in November
When every Aztec member
Is asked if they'll remember our Aztec dead
We do this, if you haven't guessed
By getting something off your chest
Your heart would probably be best
Or else your head
And then on our year planners
It's the raising of the banners
And it's only polite manners
To kill more guys
December and January
Dismembering methods vary
All you need to know is that we pile 'em high
May and June, it's summertime
The killing is easy
It's only halfway through the year
Bet you're feeling queasy
In Autumn time we sweep our homes
And kill some more, but then
By late October, the killing's over
Then it starts up again
[Chorus]
Ha, ha, ha, ha
You won't survive, you won't survive
Ha, ha, ha, ha
Ain't stayin' alive, ain't stayin' alive
Ha, ha, ha, ha
Want to live until you're old?
Ha, ha, ha, ha
Avoid us priests, you've been told