Horrible Histories
Wreck ’Em All
Fine wine, designer Roman goods
I owned a fancy stash
But when my husband died, the Romans cried
Let’s take his cash
Like a baby, I had a little cry
At this terrible stage
But before too long, I had turned this song
Into, a violent rage
And so I had to wreck ’em all
Tear down every Roman wall
Unleased all my fury on
Every Roman Centurion
I led a Celtic army, & we smashed
The Roman crew
Took London, St. Albans, Camulodunum
That’s Colchester to you
Rather than end up dead, Romans turned & fled
From our uprising
Their soldier took flight, cowards found our fight
Unappetising
And so I had to wreck ’em all
Took no prisoners at all
Burned those cowards down to the ground
Killed every Roman I found
I never meant to start a war
Actually that’s not so
Just wanted every Roman to pack up
Their villas & go
So Roman Britain starts to fall
Shame I hadn’t reckoned all
These legions would arrive from Rome
And we’re fighting them for our homes
Won’t stop till I deck ’em all
Every soldier, every General
My plan was just to go berserk
And wrecking seems t'work, t'work, t'work
T'work, t'work, t'work