William I: I’m William the Conqueror
My enemies stood no chance
They call me the first English king
Although I come from France

1066, the Domesday book
I gave to history
So fat on death my body burst!
But enough about me!

To help remember all your kings
I’ve come up with this song -
A simple rhyme and ditty
For you all to sing along… Oh!

William!
(Bit short innit? We need more kings. Who came next?)

Henry I: William second, cheeks were red -
Killed out hunting, so it’s said
I took over, Henry one
William I: That’s my next eldest son

Then, King Stеphen, it’s true, check it!
Hеnry II: I, Henry two, killed Thomas Becket
Richard Lionheart? That’s right!
Always spoiling for a fight
Oh King John, what a disaster -
Rule restrained by Magna Carta!

William, William, Henry, Stephen
Henry, Richard, John, oi!
Henry II: Time for my mate, King Henry eight
To take up this song

Henry VIII: Henry three built the abbey
Ed one hated Scots
A red-hot poker killed Ed two
That must have hurt him lots!

Edward third was a chivalry nerd
Began the hundred years war
Henry V: Then Richard two was king aged ten
Then Henry, yes, one more!

King Henry four, plots galore
Not least from Henry five, Moi?
I killed ten score at Agincourt
Then Henry six arrived (Wa!)

Henry VIII: Edward four, Edward five
Richard the third, he’s bad!
‘Cause he fought wars with Henry seventh
First Tudor and my dad
So Henry eight, I was great
Six wives, two were beheaded
Edward the sixth came next
But he died young and so my dreaded....

Daughter Mary ruled, so scary
Then along came…

Elizabeth I: Me!
I’m Liz the first, I had no kids
So Tudors RIP...

William, William, Henry, Stephen
Henry, Richard, John, oi!
Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich two
Then three more Henrys join our song
Edward, Edward, Rich the third
Henry, Henry, Ed again
Mary one, good Queen Bess
Elizabeth I: That’s me, time for more men

James six of Scotland next
As English James the first he led
Then Stuarts ruled, so Charles the first
The one who lost his head!
Charles II: No monarchy until came me -
Charles two, I liked to party!
King Jimmy two was scary, woooh
Then Mary was a smarty

She ruled with Bill, their shoes were filled
By sourpuss Queen Anne Gloria
And so from then, you were ruled by men
Victoria: ‘Till along came me Victoria!

William, William, Henry, Stephen
Henry, Richard, John, oi!
Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich two
Then three more Henrys join our song
Edward, Edward, Rich the third
Henry, Henry, Ed again
Mary one, good Queen Bess
Jimmy, Charles and Charles and then
Jim, Will, Mary, Anna Gloria
Victoria: Still to come, it’s Queen Victoria!

George IV: And so began the Hanover gang
George one and George two
Victoria: Grim! Then George the third was quite absurd
George IV: 'Till I replaced old him!

Victoria: King George the fourth and known henceforth
As angry, fat and cross
George IV: Hang on!
Victoria: It’s true you beat Napoleon
But were mostly a dead loss
George IV: Bang on!

Victoria: Old William fourth was a sailor
George IV: Ahoy!
Victoria: It’s nearly the end of the story-a
As onto the scene comes the best-loved queen -
Hail to Queen Victoria!

William, William, Henry, Stephen
Henry, Richard, John, oi!
Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich two
Then three more Henrys join our song
Edward, Edward, Rich the third
Henry, Henry, Ed again
Mary one, good Queen Bess
Jimmy, Charles and Charles and then
Jim, Will, Mary, Anna Gloria
George, George, George, George
Will, Victoria
…Victoria…Victoria…Victoria…

Victoria: (I ruled for sixty four-years, you know.)

Ed seven, George five
Ed eight, George six
‘Liz two, then reigned and how!
And so our famous monarch song
Is brought right up to now-

All: Oh…!

William, William, Henry, Stephen
Henry, Richard, John, oi!
Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich two
Then three more Henrys join our song
Edward, Edward, Rich the third
Henry, Henry, Ed again
Mary one, good Queen Bess
Jimmy, Charles and Charles and then
Jim, Will, Mary, Anna Gloria
George, George, George, George
Will, Victoria
Edward, George, Edward, George six
And Queen Liz Two completes the mix!

Charles III: (Not Quite. Now there's me, Charles three!)

That’s all the English Kings and Queens
Since William first that there have been!

(Ta da!)