Catherine Zeta-Jones
Cell Block Tango
[LIZ]
Pop

[ANNIE]
Six

[JUNE]
Squish

[HUNYAK]
Uh-uh

[VELMA]
Cicero

[MONA]
Lipschitz

[EMCEE, spoken]
And now, the 6 merry murderesses of the Cook County Jail in their rendition of the Cell Block Tango

[LIZ]
Pop

[ANNIE]
Six
[JUNE]
Squish

[HUNYAK]
Uh-uh

[VELMA]
Cicero

[MONA]
Lipschitz

[LIZ]
Pop

[ANNIE]
Six

[JUNE]
Squish

[HUNYAK]
Uh-uh

[VELMA]
Cicero
[MONA]
Lipschitz

[LIZ]
Pop!

[ANNIE]
Six!

[JUNE]
Squish!

[HUNYAK]
Uh-uh!

[VELMA]
Cicero!

[MONA]
Lipschitz!

[LIZ]
Pop!

[ANNIE]
Six!
[JUNE]
Squish!

[HUNYAK]
Uh-uh!

[VELMA]
Cicero!

[MONA]
Lipschitz!

[LIZ]
Pop!

[ANNIE]
Six!

[JUNE]
Squish!

[HUNYAK]
Uh-uh!

[VELMA]
Cicero!

[MONA]
Lipschitz!

[LIZ, ANNIE, JUNE, HUNYAK, VELMA, and MONA]
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it

[VELMA]
I betcha you would have done the same

[LIZ]
Pop!

[ANNIE]
Six!

[JUNE]
Squish!

[HUNYAK]
Uh-uh!

[VELMA]
Cicero!

[MONA]
Lipschitz!

[LIZ]
Pop!

[ANNIE]
Six!

[JUNE]
Squish!

[HUNYAK]
Uh-uh!

[VELMA]
Cicero!

[MONA]
Lipschitz!

[LIZ, spoken]
You know how people have these little habits that get you down? Like Bernie. Bernie liked to chew gum. No, not chew: pop!
So I came home this one day, and I am really irritated and I'm looking for a little bit of sympathy. And there's Bernie, laying on the couch drinking a beer and chewing. No, not chewing: popping! So, I said to him, I said, "You pop that gum one more time..." And he did. So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots... into his head

[LIZ, ANNIE, JUNE, HUNYAK, VELMA, and MONA]
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have heard it
I betcha you would have done the same

[ANNIE, spoken]
I met Ezekiel Young, from Salt Lake City, about two years ago, and he told me he was single, and we hit it off right away. So, we started living together. He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, we'd have dinner. And then I found out. "Single," he told me? Single, my ass. Not only was he married, oh, no, he had six wives. One of those Mormons, you know? So that night, when he came home from work, I fixed him his drink, as usual. You know some guys just can't hold their arsenic

[LIZ, ANNIE, JUNE, HUNYAK, VELMA, and MONA]
He had it coming (pop, six, squish)
He had it coming (uh-uh, Cicero, Lipschitz)
He took a flower in its prime (pop, six, squish, uh-uh, Cicero, Lipschitz)
And then he used it (pop)
And he abused it (six)
It was a murder but not a crime (squish, uh-uh, Cicero, Lipschitz)

[JUNE, spoken]
Now, I'm standing in the kitchen, carving up the chicken for dinner, minding my own business. In storms my husband Wilbur in jealous rage. "You been screwing the milkman," he says. He was crazy and he kept on screaming "You been screwing the milkman." And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times

[LIZ, ANNIE, JUNE, HUNYAK, VELMA, and MONA]
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!

[HUNYAK, spoken]
Mit keresek, én itt? Azt mondják
Hogy a híres lakóm lefogta a férjemet én meg
Lecsaptam a fejét
De nem igaz, én ártatlan vagyok
Nem tudom, miért mondja
Uncle Sam, hogy én tettem, probáltam
A rendőrségen megmagyarázni, de nem értették meg

[ROXIE, spoken]
Yeah, but did you do it?

[HUNYAK, spoken]
Uh-uh, not guilty!

[LIZ, ANNIE, JUNE, HUNYAK, VELMA, and MONA]
He had it coming
He had it coming

[VELMA, spoken]
My sister Veronica and I had this double act, and my husband Charlie traveled around with us. Now, for the last number in our act we did this twenty acrobatic tricks in a row. One, two, three, four, five, splits, spread eagles, back flips, flip flops, one right after the other. So this one night before the show, we're down at the hotel Cicero, the three of us boozing, having a few laughs. And we run out of ice so I went out to get some. I come back, open the door, and there's Veronica and Charlie, doing number seventeen: the spread eagle! Well, I was in such a state of shock I completely blacked out, I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead

[VELMA (LIZ, ANNIE, JUNE, HUNYAK, and MONA)]
They had it coming
(They had it coming)
They had it coming
(They had it coming)
They had it coming all along
(They had it coming all along)
I didn't do it
(She didn't do it)
But if I'd done it
(But if she'd done it)
How could you tell me that I was wrong?

They had it coming
(They had it coming)
They had it coming
(They had it coming)
They had it coming all along
(They took a flower in its prime)
I didn't do it
(And they abused it)
But if I'd done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong?
(He had it coming
He had it coming)

[MONA, spoken]
I loved Al Lipschitz more than I can possibly say. He was a real artistic guy, sensitive, a painter. But he was always trying to find himself. He'd go out every night looking for himself, and on the way he found Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary and Irving. I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw himself as alive... and I saw him dead

[LIZ, ANNIE, JUNE, HUNYAK, VELMA, and MONA]
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

[LIZ, ANNIE, JUNE, HUNYAK, VELMA, and MONA]
They had it coming (they had it coming)
They had it coming (they had it coming)
They had it coming all along (they had it coming all along)
'Cause if they used us ('cause if they used us)
And they abused us (and they abused us)
How could you tell us that we were wrong?
He had it coming (he had it coming)
He had it coming (he had it coming)
He only had himself to blame (he only had himself to blame)
If you'd have been there (if you'd have been there)
If you'd have seen it (if you'd have seen it)
I betcha you would have done the same

[LIZ, spoken]
You pop that gum one more time!

[ANNIE, spoken]
Single my ass

[JUNE, spoken]
Ten times

[HUNYAK, spoken]
Miert csukott Uncle Same bortonbe

[VELMA, spoken]
Number seventeen: the spread eagle

[MONA, spoken]
Artistic differences

[LIZ]
Pop

[ANNIE]
Six

[JUNE]
Squish

[HUNYAK]
Uh-uh

[VELMA]
Cicero

[MONA]
Lipschitz