[Verse 1]
I am he as you are he as you are me
And we are all together
See how they run like pigs from a gun
See how they fly
I'm crying

Sitting on a corn flake
Waiting for the van to come
Corporation T-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday
Man you've been a naughty boy
You let your face grow long

[Chorus]
I am the egg man
They are the egg men
I am the walrus
Goo goo g'joob

[Verse 2]
Mister City policeman sitting
Pretty little policemen in a row
See how they fly like Lucy in the sky, see how they run
I'm crying, I'm cryin'
Cryin' (get out of myself)
Yellow matter custard
Dripping from a dead dog's eye
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess
Boy, you've been a naughty girl, you let your knickers down

[Chorus]
I am the egg man
They are the egg men
I am the walrus
Goo goo g'joob

[Bridge]
(We're all just molecules bouncing around)

Sitting in an English garden
Waiting for the sun
If the sun don't come you get your tan
From standing in the English rain

[Chorus]
I am the egg man
They are the egg men
I am the walrus
Goo goo g'joob, goo goo goo g'joob

[Verse 3]
Expert, texpert choking smokers
Don't you think the joker laughs at you (ho ho ho, hee hee hee, hah hah hah)
See how they smile, pigs in a sty, see how they snide
I'm de-heh-heh-heh-heh
Semolina Pilchard
Climbing up the Eiffel Tower (get down from there!)
Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna
Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe

[Chorus]
I am the egg man
They are the egg man
I am the walrus
Goo goo g'joob, goo goo goo g'joob
Goo goo g'joob, goo goo goo g'joob, goo

Goo goo g'joob
Goo goo g'joo-hoo-hoo-b
Goo goo g'joo-hoo-hoo-b

[Outro]
Everybody's got one (repeat until end)

There, I did it!
I defiled a timeless piece of art!
For my next trick, I will paint a clown face on the Mona Lisa while using the Shroud of Turin as a dropcloth