[Intro]
“But there's somebody else that needs taking care of in Washington…”
“Who's that?”
“Rose Pilchitt!”
“Rose Pilchitt? Who's that?”
*child screams*
(Shut up!)
“36-24-36 *Laugh Track* does that answer your question?”
(Oi! I've got a little black book with me poems in!)
“Who's she?”
“She was 'Miss Armored Division' in 1961… ”

[Verse 1: Roger Waters]
I've got a little black book with my poems in
Got a bag with a toothbrush and a comb in
When I'm a good dog, they sometimes throw me a bone in
I got elastic bands keeping my shoes on
Got those swollen hand blues
I've got thirteen channels of shit on the T.V. to choose from
I've got electric light
And I've got second sight
I've got amazing powers of observation

[Chorus 1: Roger Waters]
And that is how I know
When I try to get through
On the telephone to you
There will be nobody home
[Verse 2: Roger Waters]
I've got the obligatory Hendrix perm
And the inevitable pinhole burns
All down the front of my favourite satin shirt
I've got nicotine stains on my fingers
I've got a silver spoon on a chain
I've got a grand piano to prop up my mortal remains
I've got wild staring eyes
And I've got a strong urge to fly
But I've got nowhere to fly to (Fly to… fly to… fly to… fly to… fly to… fly to… fly to… fly to… fly to… fly to… fly to…)

[Chorus 2: Roger Waters]
Ooh, babe, when I pick up the phone
(“Surprise, surprise, surprise…”)
There's still nobody home

[Outro: Roger Waters]
I've got a pair of Gohil's boots
And I've got fading roots