[Verse 1]
Big man, pig man
Ha ha charade you are
You well heeled big wheel
Ha ha charade you are
And when your hand is on your heart
You’re nearly a good laugh
Almost a joker
With your head down in the pig bin
Saying “Keep on digging”
Pig stain on your fat chin
What do you hope to find
Down in the pig mine?

[Refrain]
You’re nearly a laugh
You’re nearly a laugh
But you’re really a cry

[Verse 2]
Bus stop rat bag
Ha ha charade you are
You fucked up old hag
Ha ha charade you are
You radiate cold shafts of broken glass
You’re nearly a good laugh
Almost worth a quick grin
You like the feel of steel
You’re hot stuff with a hatpin
And good fun with a hand gun



[Refrain]
You’re nearly a laugh
You’re nearly a laugh
But you’re really a cry

[Instrumental]

[Verse 3]
Hey you, Whitehouse
Ha ha charade you are
You house proud town mouse
Ha ha charade you are
You’re trying to keep our feelings off the street
You’re nearly a real treat
All tight lips and cold feet
And do you feel abused?
You gotta stem the evil tide
And keep it all on the inside

[Refrain]
Mary you’re nearly a treat
Mary you’re nearly a treat
But you’re really a cry