[Verse 1]
Big man, pig man
Haha, charade you are
You well-heeled big wheel
Haha, charade you are
And when your hand is on your heart
You're nearly a good laugh, almost a joker
With your head down in the pig bin
Saying, “Keep on digging”
Pig stain on your fat chin
What do you hope to find
Down in the pig mine?

[Refrain 1]
You're nearly a laugh
You're nearly a laugh, but you're really a cry

[Verse 2]
Bus stop, rat bag
Haha, charade you are
You fucked up old hag
Haha, charade you are
You radiate cold shafts of broken glass
You're nearly a good laugh
Almost worth a quick grin
You like the feel of steel
You're hot stuff with a hatpin
And good fun with a handgun
[Refrain 1]
You're nearly a laugh
You're nearly a laugh, but you're really a cry

[Interlude]

[Verse 3]
Hey you, Whitehousе
Haha, charade you are
You, house-proud town mousе
Haha, charade you are
You're trying to keep our feelings off the street
You're nearly a real treat
All tight lips and cold feet
And do you feel abused?
You gotta stem the evil tide
And keep it all on the inside

[Refrain 2]
Mary, you're nearly a treat
Mary, you're nearly a treat, but you're really a cry

[Guitar Solo]