(Are you there?)
(Ghost, glow, ghost, glow)

Last night I was haunted by the ghost of Bob Saget
He said, "You're more or less than just a faggot"
So I put on a dress and followed him to heaven
But first, I gave him a blowjob outside the 7-Eleven

The ghost of Franz Kafka came to me in a dream
He said that things are usually what they seem
So I put on my uniform and followed him to heaven
But first, he pierced my ears outside the 7-Eleven
Eleven

The ghost of my old man said "I like that beard"
He said, "I always wanted to have long hair"
I said, "Oh fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!"
But he didn't even care

The ghost who violated me, he thought he was funny
He took us all to Disney World
He tried to make us watch him stand in an alley
With no one there except for the ghost

(Ghost, blow, ghost, blow)
The ghost of some asshole summoned me to the office
He said, "How come you didn't go to the office?"
I said "I was afraid that they would make me feel dumb"
They said "You're being dumb" and shot me in my head

(I took my lunch)

Did you know that birds and other various creatures
Have a window of time right after their creation
Where they latch on to whatever they see as their mother
And presumably the object of their sexual frustration

They see another devil
They've all been alone
They've all been alone
They've all been alone
They're around
They're around here

The ghost of Bob Saget haunted me yesterday
He said "Pack your bag, 'cause we know you're gay"
So I threw him in a river in the USA
Wherever I go is so fucked anyway

(Uh-ohs, ghosts, oh, ghosts)
Oh no
Oh no
Oh no
Go to your cell!
Don't go!
Don't go!
Hell no!
Hell no!

Death came in bending over like he was sick
Promised I'd be really bad at sucking dick
But I had a gun painted in my hand
And Death said, "Hey, do you wanna be in my band?"

Today I got a package and it was my mom
She's called back up thrice, I knew that something was wrong
She was missing her ring, so I took out the scoop
And lurked for half an hour through her ashes too, da-da-da

Hey!
Hey!
Hey!

Last night I was haunted by the ghost of myself
I said, "You're probably going to kill yourself!"
He said that "When you do, don't bother leaving a note
'Cause everybody knows just where you're going!"
The ghost of David Lynch came to me last night
Said, "In heaven, everything ain't so right"
So I took off all my clothes and followed him to hell
But first,​ he waited fifteen years outside of my jail cell