[Intro]
IT'S TIME FOR A ROOSTER TEETH THROWDOWN!
LEONARD CHURCH!
VS
SARGE!
RAPPERS READY?!
THROW IT DOWN!

[Verse 1: Church]
It's the fight of the ages! Red vs Blue
Or it would be if anybody cared about you
By the end of this battle you'll finally see
Leader of a real team ain't as easy as it seems to be
You're trying to mold three wimps into men
I run the suit of the biggest badass there's been
You're shotgun's primed for a war you've been storming up
But back away my laser face has started warming up
Hate the people on your team and can barely control them
Got your ass kicked by freelancers, Sarge while I owned them
The Director, a machine you're a cadencing shmuck
Can't rap against a ghost so BOO you motherfuck
My story's what fans and critics adore
I'll sum up yours in one word "snore"
This is all getting real, bitch, this isn't a game
All they call you is Sarge, THAT's NOT EVEN A NAME!

[Verse 2: Sarge]
You're rap is finally over the fat lady said
I'll kick your ass three times with a left, right, left
Sarge isn't a name, it's superiority
Unlike yours, my team respects enough to bury dead me
You got rhymes more fruity than a strawberry Yoo-Hoo
I'll rip you so hard your whole team will go "blue-hoo"
You say you're a leader? Oh, man that's a riot
This sergeant's loading up to kick you straight in the privates
Red wins, blue sucks, how it's always ended
Wipe this scum from the earth as God intended
So death to the Blues on the beautiful day
Rotting up like roadkill on a lonely highway
And one day we'll sit around a tattered blue flag
Stepping on the necks of you broken battered dirtbags
Nothing you can say can stand up to me
So drop, bluetard, and give me infinity

[Verse 3: Church]
(Ahh!) That's cute look at you, you thinking you're still relevant?
Since Reconstruction hit, you're completely insignificant
You're an old has-been who's still trying to prove
He's just as good as he was back in 1952 (Boom!)
Goddamn! I really died for this war?!
You're the only one caring about this motherfucking score
If I actually tried, you'd be down in one go
Also brown-nose, rust-boat, wide-load, and Delano
Red sucks deal with it, and let me just remind you that
It's because of me, RvB went past season 3
You stepped up to a game you can't play
Church is in session so maybe you should stop and pray
[Verse 4: Sarge]
Your days are numbered you scruffy nerf herder
Got a brain full of beats and a boner for murder
A case of blue like yours calls for proper medication
Got a shotgun full of pills for your insubordination
Glory to the red team, and extra glory to me
I need a proper victory, so who's in charge of confetti?
You're an old computer program with a virus maybe
I'll wipe your hard drive clean with the treads of my Chupababy (Ooh!)
We're just better, that's not gonna change
So take a step closer into face-stabbing range
Your fall's a matter of "when", not a matter of "if"
My second shell is for you, I'm saving the first for Grif (What?!)

[Verse 5: Felix (Locus)]
Hahaha! Oh, put away the threats and the knuckle cracks
(I told you to stay out of this) Dude, just relax
These guys wanna fight, and hey, we're supporting it
But now we're chiming in on the rhyme (How unfortunate)
See we're just better, in every way
What you've done in your life, I've done in a day
(We're perfectly crafted, cunning, killing machines)
The two baddest of the mercenary space marines
I'm a supreme know-it-all when it comes to a knife
Close-ranged combat's how I'm living my life
Then couple me up with an invisible dread
(By the time you see me you're already dead)
How'd you both get teams following your command?
(When you can count your IQ on a single hand?)
I can't believe this fake battle's caused this much fuss
Cause the way I see it (You're just practice for us)
[Verse 6: Church]
Calling Epsilon, the Alpha, the Director online
RvB is just a tale of my life story designed
When I powered Tucker's suit my tale came to an end
I know that's hard to explain to a dude with no friends!

[Verse 7: Sarge]
Friends don't make you smile in this battle-scarred Hell
What made me smile was watching you dissolve yourself
But you tried your damn best, so don't take it too hard
But it's time to suck it blue, you just got Sarge'd!