[Verse 1]
Now if man had been born with six fingers on each hand
He'd also have twelve toes, or so the theory goes
Well, with twelve digits, I mean, fingers
He probably would've invented two more digits
When he invented his number system
Then, if he saved the zero for the end
He could count and multiply by twelve
Just as easily as you and I do by ten

[Verse 2]
Now if man had been born with six fingers on each hand
He'd probably count
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, dek, el, doh
"Dek" and "el" being two entirely new signs
Meaning ten and eleven
Single digits
And his twelve, "doh", would be written 1-0
Get it?
That'd be swell, for multiplying by 12

[Chorus]
Hey Little Twelvetoes, I hope you're well
Must be some far-flung planet where you dwell
If we were together, you could be my cousin
Down here we call it a dozen
Hey Little Twelvetoes, please come back home
[Verse 3]
Now if man had been born with six fingers on each hand
His children would have them too
And when they played hide-and-go-seek
They'd count by sixes fast
And when they studied piano
They'd do their six-finger exercises
And when they went to school
They'd learn the golden rule
And how to multiply by twelve easy
Just put down a zero
But me, I have to learn it the hard way
Let me see

[Bridge]
One times 12 is twelve, two times 12 is 24
Three times 12 is 36, four times 12 is 48
Five times 12 is 60
Six times 12 is 72, seven times 12 is 84
Eight times 12 is 96, nine times 12 is 108
Ten times 12 is 120
Eleven times 12 is 132, and twelve times 12 is 144

[Chorus]
Hey Little Twelvetoes, I hope you're thriving
Some of us ten-toed folks are still surviving
If you help me with my twelves, I'll help you with your tens
And we could all be friends
Little Twelvetoes, please come back home