[Verse 1]
If all your fancy diet plans have got your head a'swimmin'
And everything you eat must be approved by Richard Simmons
Stop eatin' that birdseed, friend, 'cause what your really need
Is a procedure guaranteed not to impede your need to feed

[Chorus]
Liposuction, liposuction
The new immediate weight reduction plan
Trade in the hand you've been dealt and get surgically svelte
At your friendly neighborhood liposuction man

[Verse 2]
If you've abandoned exercise and your gut keeps getting vaster
Your thighs are growing over-size and your butt's gone off to pasturе
If you want a new demeanor and you'rе keen on getting leaner
Then your remedy is an M.D. with a fancy vacuum cleaner

[Chorus]
Liposuction, liposuction
The new immediate weight reduction plan
Take the fat cells from your hips, put 'em in Barbara Hershey's lips
At your friendly neighborhood liposuction man

[Bridge]
Yee-haw
Here we go
If your waist line is a'surgin'
And in need of some reversion
And your overall weight dispersion's
Gettin' on the verge of perversion
I'm encouraging an excursion
To go searchin' for a surgeon
And get your emergency purgin'
Of the burgeonin' fat emergin' from your chin
[Chorus]
Liposuction, liposuction
The new immediate weight reduction plan
Get your torso reformatted, get a nose job while you're at it
At your friendly neighborhood liposuction man

[Outro]
Make your ass twelve inches thinner
And be home in time for dinner
At your friendly neighborhood liposuction man
Well the doctor's bill may vex ya
But it sure beats anorexia
At your friendly neighborhood liposuction man