[Intro (Spoken): Todrick Hall & Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Both)]
Like, OMG, Penny, have you seen how Brad stares at me?
I know, Claire. Stare-les the Clown!
Stare Master!
He's so sterile!
Oh, my God (Awkward!)
Trevor does the same thing, it's like, give me some hair-flip room
I know, right? He's the star of Ew: The Musical
Ew-ie the Movie!
Love you; mean it!
(Muah!)

[Verse 1: Todrick Hall]
We go together like ramma-lamma-ding-dong
I've got a finger that you can put a ring on
You followed me, I knew we'd be forever
I poured my heart out in 140 letters

[Pre-Chorus 1: Todrick Hall]
You and me, meant to be
Be my Man-Crush Monday
You're so sweet, click retweet
If you think I am the one, babe
Went to send, clicked again
But you unfriended me, wow, boy
If you're listenin' now, boy
[Chorus: Todrick Hall]
I bust the windows out your car
Baby, and it felt so good
Wrote my name on your 'stang
Like Carrie Underwood
We were supposed to be
The new Jay-Z and Bey
Just like Brad and Miss Jolie
But you unfollowed me
Tell me why

[Refrain: Todrick Hall (Spoken)]
You unfollowed me (Why?)
You unfollowed me (Why?)
You unfollowed me
Woah-oh-MG
You unfollowed me (I'm so pissed)
You unfollowed me (I'm about to have a BF)
You unfollowed me
Woah-oh-MG

[Verse 2: Joseph Gordon-Levitt]
I noticed Trevor staring at me from his locker
It's totes whatever, it's not really a shocker
Gave him my digits and this little thing I painted
A lovely portrait of us on the beach naked—what?
[Pre-Chorus 2: Joseph Gordon-Levitt]
You and me, meant to be
Be my Man-Crush Monday
You're so sweet, click retweet
If you think I am the one, babe
Went to send, clicked again
But you unfriended me, wow, boy
Hope you're listenin' now, boy

[Chorus: Both]
I bust the windows out your car
Baby, and it felt so good
Wrote my name on your 'stang
Like Carrie Underwood
We were supposed to be
The new Jay-Z and Bey
Just like Brad and Miss Jolie
But you unfollowed me
Tell me why

[Refrain 2: Todrick Hall (Spoken: Joseph Gordon-Levitt)]
You unfollowed me (Why?)
You unfollowed me (You're gonna regret this)
You unfollowed me (I'm the best you ever had)
Woah-oh-MG (I'm so good)
You unfollowed me (Look at me)
You unfollowed me (I said look at me!)
You unfollowed me
Woah-oh-MG
[Bridge: Todrick Hall & Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Both)]
You think you're cooler than us? LOL
Um, you should do less thinks
You might be smarter
(But you're balding and your breath stinks)
(We don't have time for your reindeer games)
(You have no followers anyway)
(Your new girlfriend's got camel lips)
(And you need to shave your nips)

[Spoken: Todrick Hall & Joseph Gordon-Levitt]
Oh, my God! Nips! It's short for nipples!
Hahaha, oh, my god! It's so gross!

[Chorus: Both]
I bust the windows out your car
Baby, and it felt so good
Wrote my name on your 'stang
Like Carrie Underwood
We were supposed to be
The new Jay-Z and Bey
Just like Brad and Miss Jolie
But you unfollowed me
Tell my why

[Outro (Spoken): Todrick Hall & Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Both)]
You post too many Throwback Thursdays anyways
I know, right? That's like so yesterday
And what's up with that pimple convention on his five-head?
Say it with me: (Facetune!)
Hashtag: loser
Hashtag: we are never getting back together
Hashtag: too many hashtags
Hashtag: moving on to bigger and better things
Hashtag: we don't like you anyways
Hashtag: I am important
Hashtag: we could do better
Hashtag: I hate myself
Hashtag: bye, Felicia, hahaha
Hahahaha, oh, my God [laughing turns to heavy breathing]
Hashtag: this song is over
[Whines]
Hahahaha