It's the strangest feeling ever
You keep trying your best but it's just an arrested endeavour
So you buckle up, face the day
And try to make the ever-grey like heaven, like heaven

But it's all too easy, when you think you gotta kill somebody
Gotta be a joker and keep up a little Eurochat and
Stick your eager fang into a talk of Coronation Street, well
You know how it is

Well, you've been out of your seat for way too long
You've got to get your trainer tapping to a different song
You know I can't do right for doing wrong, oh no

So it's best, to relax and get drunk
Then the guys amplify and remind you that you've been a cunt (Well, I've done wrong for a start)
If you open your mouth, the truth comes out
And no-one likes to hear that sort of stuff so it's best just to relax and shut up
(Yeah, that's the best plan, No, that ain't never right, Yeah, that's the best thing to do)

Cut to someone laughing and a joke he heard before
But he don't want to be unpopular because he's got a big Cortina
Like to stick a pen into his shitty little grin and you know that would be funny

Well, you'll be away from it all and you don't belong
Unless your cock gets hard at a football song
You know I can't do right for doing wrong
Out of your seat, get out of your seat
Get out of your seat get out of your seat
Get back in your seat, get back in your seat
Get back in your seat, get back in your seat

Back among the things that we like, got a treat on the top
It isn't what you're knowing, it's a case of who you're blowing
Get your balls to communicate, you've got your ticket to the case
So socially they'll let you be, so long as we can copulate
You want to be a big shot, cannot stop a-saying (I can't do right for doing wrong)
Yes please, stash, got my fingers in your pants (I can't do right for doing wrong)
I'm gonna lick it till I'm sick if you would just give me a chance (I can't do right for doing wrong)
I'll be a good dog, prick me and you'll never be needing a dog again, open wide
(I can't do right for doing wrong, can't do right for doing wrong)
Yeah, yeah, open wide (you know I can't do right for doing wrong)
No, no, no I can't (you know I can't do right for doing wrong)