[Verse 1]
Foolish bride call me up, beg to scratch her itch
Rich old man got the needle, slipped and dropped a stitch
Name the time, name the price, leave your door unlocked
I'll bring a toy guaranteed to put the spring in your shocks

[Chorus]
Something for nothing
Well, in and out, it's never free
Something for nothing
Leave the money where it's easy, easy to see

[Verse 2]
Gigolo sounds so cold, call me teacher's pest
Twice a day, double pay, at my trade I'm the best
Never late, watch her watch, seconds on the clock
Overtime, break my back, slip and fall in the crack

[Chorus]
Something for nothing
Well, in and out, it's never free
Something for nothing
Leave the money where it's easy, easy to see

[Verse 3]
She plays the role of a roving matriarch
Diamond rings, fancy things, Dubonnet on the rocks
For a treat, gave it free, happy sixty three
Crazy days, easy money, I was just sixteen
Easy money for such a good deed
[Chorus]
Something for nothing
Ya, in and out it's never free
Something for nothing
Satisfaction guaranteed

[Chorus]
Something for nothing
Target practice in the dark
Something for nothing
I'm a crack shot on the mark
And I love my work

[Outro]
Something, nothing
Something, nothing