[Verse 1]
This is a ballad of my private thoughts
This is a ballad of sickening thoughts
Music is nothing
It just stands in the background
It's the ringing in your ears
When you head hits the pillow
It's the ache in your brain when the nightclub is over...
The ache in your brain when the nightclub is over...

[Pre-Chorus]
Its ups and downs, ups and downs
Take my thoughts, take my thoughts...
What to do... what to do?
Taking off his trousers and she takes off her socks

You can set the night on fire with a disco ball
A razor sharp haircut, a razor sharp haircut
A little perfume and
A racing pulse and
A Wonderbra, a Wonderbra

[Chorus]
I hear that someone else is doing it for you but
Hey now, I was there first
I hear that someone else is doing it for you but
Hey now, I was there first
I was there
[Verse 2]
'Area 51' is under my bed -
Extinct in the middle of winter
Yeah, so talented and beautiful
You're one in a million
My teeth shine like dead stars...
God is running out, God is running
He sucks on his own sweat
It's been a hard days work

[Chorus]
I hear that someone else is doing it for you but
Hey now, I was there first
I hear that someone else is doing it for you but
Hey now, I was there first
I was there

[Refrain 1]
Masturbation is better for girls with imagination...

[Chorus]
I hear that someone else is doing it for you but
Hey now, I was there first
I hear that someone else is doing it for you but
Hey now, I was there first
I was there
[Refrain 2]
'Big Brother' keeps me company now...