Girlfriend’s said that she no longer likes me
Reckon I know why she thinks this way
It’s ‘cos I’m a Trog
And I’ve got mad sideys
And my gait is strange
So they say

Some blokes don’t neatly stencil their flight case
And some blokes don’t take apart valve amps for fun
But when you’re a Trog and you’ve got mad sideys
And your gait is strange
So they say

And when I swear it’s in a mellow way
Swiss Army knife and every shade of Humbrol
To Point of Ayr I like to get away
And in my dreams I take a beautiful girl

Got my weed and I’ve got my Sven Hassel
Omni stacked tenfold under the bed

In my rugby shirt, signed by Justin Hayward
I will rule the world
Playing Risk

I was born with a twelve string acoustic in my mouth
Midwife fixed springs to the soles of my feet
And now I’m a Trog and I’ve got mad sideys
And my gait is strange
So they say
And when I swear it’s in a mellow way
Swiss Army knife and every shade of Humbrol
To Point of Ayr I like to get away
And in my dreams I take a beautiful girl